Blair Collection > Rhys Lewis, minister of Bethel

22 6 Hl/yS LEWIS.
CHAPTER XXVII.
DAYS OF DARKNESS.
Should some friend, more painstaking than the rest, have
followed me to the end of the preceding chapter, he will,
doubtless, laugh at me for a superstitious fellow. I cannot
help that. I have touched but lightly upon the period when I
left the straight path, when I lost those religious impressions
and became careless about the knowledge and instruction I had
received from one of the most pious of women. Was it because
the remembrance of my conduct at the time was not so lively
that I did so ? No, but because my thoughts and actions were
too vile and hideous for recital. Forget them, indeed ! That
is as difficult as to forgive them. God alone can do both the one
and the other; but even He, I imagine, would find it iniinitelv
more difficult to forget than to-forgive, and had He not himself
said He would forget, I might have thought the task impossible.
.Humbly and thankfully I endeavour to believe the word of the
Grod of Truth ; but the wrench it must give His omniscience to
extend me His pardon is beyond my comprehension. If this
be madness— Great Porgetter, forget Thou this also !
Was I a church member during the period referred to ? I
was, sure enough; and went up to the Lord's table regularly
once a month. And, as far as I knew, none of the pious old
brethren had any fear on my account ; none of them spoke to
me with especial reference to the state either of my soul or of
my religious belief. The memory of my own case makes me
shudder at the thought of the spiritual condition of hundreds
of the young in our towns, religiously brought up, like myself,
from childhood. In order to please the good old mother at
home, or escape the reproof of a strict employer, they attend
service pretty regularly; they partake of the sacrament, having
reached the necessary age ; but how much more do we know
about them? They may go for weeks at a stretch without
looking at the Bible ; they may lead an utterly prayerless life ;
they may frequent forbidden places, filled with wantonness ;
they may feast on vicious and rotten thoughts ; they may read