Series 1 > Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Wariston 1632-1639

DIARY, 1637-1639
293
Lord and begged the remembrance of sik things, books,
reasons as might conduce to the cause. Afternoone going
through som compts with my wyfe, seing my ingagements,
and the continual decreasse of my estait, I was oppressed with
melancholy and eaten up with canker against myselth, remem-
bring the 12 v. 5 c. Hosea and considering it as the Lords
judgement quhilk I did deprecat and prayed the Lord to prae-
veine. I heard also of the bruit of my going up to Court, quhair-
upon I recomended my quhol cariage in the Lords busines
to himselth in that and any uther particular; quhilk if he
thought the fittest course he would remove al impediments out
of the way, let me seie ane faire calling to it and abilitie
for it.
Upon Wedensday my wyfe took physik. I sau the
Thresaurer foranoon and was extream doof afternoone.
On Foorsday morning I red through the litle treatise of the
Hie Commission written excellently weal be my L. Durie; and
ane chairge was layd on me be the honest man to revise it and
his auin, and to think upon that subject, to the quhilk I craived
the Lords assistance. Bot al that day, as this long tyme bygon,
I fand not the Lord comunicating himselth to my saule; and,
as I had inten-upted my intercourse with him in my retyrings,
so he had intermitted his fellouschip with me in my calling
and conversation, for be ten thousand experiences I haive ever N-
found that maxime to hold, as I drau near to the Lord I find
the Lord draueth near to me; as I absent my saule from the
Lord he absents himselth from my saule ; as I am present or
absent in my retyrings, confessions, prayers, prayses, so is the
Lord in my calling, studie, exercises; as I reneu he reneueth ;
as I relent he relenteth ; as I omit he omits; as I intermit he
intermits ; as I repent he repents; as I ebbe or flou he ebbes or
floues; and yet notwithstanding of this dear coft and oft
experimented lesson I wil never amend, bot ay away and about
againe. O Lord, O Lord, heirin be merciful to this miserable
wretch, quho yet wil never learne nor practise it except thy
Sprit daylie and hourly maik me repeat it over and over
againe. This day the Lord directed me right about my L.
Thresaurers signator.
Upon Frayday Lisbie, James his Mammie, halving committed