Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

260
EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
some damps at the thought that I had been taking that Comfort that did not
belong to me; but was again encouraged to hope that that gracious promise,
I had met with a few days before, was from the Lord, & that he had allowed
& enabled me to trust & stay my self on him, & was enabled again to do so.
Fast day & []6 all that week, I found a sinking on my Spirits, & was in great
difficulties whether I should seek to be admitted to the Lords Table or not:
but tho I saw great danger in a rash unprepared approach, I durst not however
venture to stay away. A Sermon I heard preach’d by a Minister (20)7 on the
Text, He hath put him to grief,8 was made very useful to me for this purpose,
and I was somewhat comforted by it. On Sabbath, when I came to the Lords
Table, he was pleased to give me much of his gracious presence; & I may say,
He took me into his banqueting-house, and his banner over me was love.
[$87/—] At Cathcart Sacrament in May 1743 when I was at the Lords Table,
and was coming away, that word came to my mind with much power, I am he
that blots out thy transgressions as a Cloud, and as a thick cloud thy Sins.9
I was made to believe that the Lord had dene accordingly pardoned all my
Sins for Christs Sake, & this was matter of great comfort to my Soul.
At the Second Sacrament at Cambuslang in 1743, when I was at the Lords
Table, I could say with the Spouse that I was sick of Love to Christ: and I
was made greatly to rejoice that he had taken the Throne of my heart, &
shed abroad his Love there; & I was so filled with joy on this account, that it
was with great difficulty that I could refrain from crying out for joy among
the people.
But that I may not be tedious, I shall only further notice some few things
in general. It is now (March 8, 1744) about two years since I was awakned
from my Sleep in Sin, & I would also hope raised from a Death in Sin: For
when I look back upon these two last years, & my temper of Spirit & way
of life in them, I cannot but notice a very great difference and opposition.
Formerly, I was indifferent whether I went to Publick Ordinances or no,
& whether I heard or no: now, I could [588/-] not think of staying away,
except necessity oblig’d me: & when I come, I take great delight in hearing
the Gospel preach’d, & injoining in the other parts of publick worship. I come
to hear the word, believing that Christ is to speak in a preached Gospel to his
people, & hoping that he will speak something home to me in particular, for
seasonable instruction in duty, conviction of Sin, or comfort & establishment
in his way, as I may stand in need: and I find it to be so him graciously doing
so accordingly from time to time. Formerly my heart did not ly to Secret
Prayer at all; now I find the quite contrary with me: I know not how I could
6 Insertion [‘almost’]: McCulloch.
7 James Robe (1688-1753) - minister, Kilsyth.
8 Isa 53:10.
9 Isa 44:22.