Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

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EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
hear that there was such a Work of Conversion in these far distant Places: & I
thought that if I were there, I might perhaps get a Case of Grace among others,
& I was busy from time to time contriving Methods how I might get there.
When I was a Child I got many merry songs by heart, & took much pleasure
in singing them over: but two or three years ago, I strove all I could to put
them out of my mind, because I found they carried away my thoughts from
things of far greater concern to me, & I liked rather to be sad and thoughtful
than merry & frolicksome.
Some years ago, there was much talk of Wars that many apprehended we
would have in this Country. I then thought they were happy in such a Case
that had an Interest in Christ and had him to fly to: but for my Self, I was
sure I had no interest in him: & this occasiond some thoughtfulness to me,
but any concern I had that way soon wore away again.
[334/_] I found in Experience very often in my life matters so ordered in
Providence, that any thing I set my heart much upon in the World, I was
sure to be depriv’d of that or cross’d in it. But I thought after many instances
of that kind, that if I could secure the one thing needful & get an Interest in
Christ, that would Satisfy me & never fail me or be taken from me. But then
I knew not how to come by that, or what way to take to attain it.
I got many good Instructions and advices from my Parents; and particularly
to improve the time of youth, & to study to be early Religious: & one thing
I mind my Father often told me, That he heard once a Minister say in his
Sermon That Conversion was rare after 20 years: but I thought with my Self
I am not yet 20 years, it may be I may yet converted. And indeed it was about
that time of my life when I came to perceive a remarkable Change on my Self.
When I read Mr Whitefields Journals before he came to Scotland, I was
glad that God had raisd up so [335/—] remarkable an Instrument of good
to many: & that many elsewhere were getting good by him as a mean: & I
thought that if I might hear him, I might get good also: but I looked more
to the Instrument than any thing else. When he came to Glasgow I was
impatient to hear him, hoping he might be an Instrument of awakning me
out of my Security, and bringing me to see my lost State by Nature that I
was in. I went and heard him preach his first Sermon on these words, If-our
Gospel And this is the name whereby he shall be called even the Lord our
righteousness,5 and was made Sensible of the vanity and insufficiency of all
righteousness of my own [ ] :6 and while he made offer of Christ to all sorts
of Sinners among the Hearers, I would gladly have received him, but could
not get my heart brought up to do so as I would. I continued to hear him
from day to day while he continued to preach at Glasgow, & thought every
Sermon I heard greater than another. I found my heart still continue hard &
5 Jer 23:6.
6 Insertion [‘and the Sufficiency of Christs righteousness’]: McCulloch.