Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
long & was now giving me such a Sight and Sense of things as I now had.
And all this was accompanied with such a Love To Christ, that I could have
been content, if it had been his will, .] never to have seen my husband or
nearest Relations or any body in the world, but to have been just swallowed
up of that Love to Christ, I then felt poured into my soul. And after that
Sermon was closd, while that Portion of the 68th Psalm was a singing
(Thou hast O Lord most glorious
Ascended up on high
And in triumph Victorious led
Captive captivity
Thou hast received gifts for men
For Such as did I rebel
Yea even for them that God the Lord
In midst of them might dwell)6
I was made to rejoice with joy unspeakable, that Christ, had bound Satan
& cast him out of my heart, or in hopes that he would do so, & would rid
my heart of the Devils goods, the hellish trash of lusts & corruptions in my
heart, that he would captivate Me to himself, who had been so long a captive
to the Devil, that he would receive such a Rebel as I had been into favour, &
come and dwell in my heart.
[20/—] But after this frame had lasted about ten or twelve days, in a good
measure, it wore off & I fell under great distress of Soul, at the thoughts of
my Sins, & danger of Eternal misery, & [ ]7 that all I had met with was but
delusion I had met with, tho at times it was otherwise, & I durst not deny
what the Lord had done for me: but I got no Sensible Comfort for about a
Quarter of a year after this, tho, blessd be God I was still kept close to the
way of duty & diligent in the use of all the Means of grace, I could get access
to, as hearing of the word & reading it, Meditation Christian Converse &
Prayer, especially Secret Prayer: I slept very little for that Quarter of a Year,
but sate up often till twelve o’clock at night, and got up again about two in
the morning for Secret Prayer & other duties: Some about me seeing me so
much taken up that way, Said I was turn’d light in the head & would certainly
go to distracted, and would pray my Self to Hell. At length one night very
late, while I was first at meditation then at Secret Prayer, ’ere I was aware
my Soul was made as the chariots of Amminadab,8 while I was musing the
fire burnd meditation was turnd to Prayer, and Prayer [21/-] into praise:
and praises proceeded from love & joy in God thro’ Jesus Christ by whom I
thought I had received the Atonement. My heart was led out to close with
6 Ps 68:18, Scottish Psalter (metrical).
7 Insertion [‘often thinking’]: McCulloch.
8 SS 6:12.