J. F. Campbell Collection > Fireside stories of Ireland

DOCTOR CURE-ALL. II9
great honour was paid to the wise man, but the master's
brother that came that day on a visit, wouldn't give the
doctor any credit at all. " Wait till dinner time," says
he '* and if I don't astonish his weak mind, you may say
what you like." "Well, the brother and his servant were
cooking something very secretly in the kitchen before
dinner time, and when that was over, and the doctor's
health was drunk, and himself greatly praised, says the
brother, " Doctor, I'll praise you more than all the family
if you tell me what's in this covered plate," Ah, wouldn't
anyone pity the poor man at that moment ] "Ko use," says
he to himself, " in throwing sand in people's eyes any
longer." Then speaking out loud, says he, " Ah, sir, let
the fox go as far as he pleases, he'll be cotch [caught] at
last." " Well," says the gentleman, " I see I must give it
up. It's a bit of a fox sure enough !" He lifted the cover
for an instant, and then threw plate and cover and fox out
of the window. And that's the way with the world. Im-
pedence will bring a man through an auger hole, where an
honest man can't get through an open gate.
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM.
There was once a townland called Gotham, but maybe
it's now swallowed up and covered with sand like Bannow,
or maybe a moving bog went over it, for I never heard any
one say he knew where it was. Well, four brothers lived
in it, and they were called the wise men of Gotham, and
you might as well call Pat Keil [see " Tlie Banks of the
Boro"'\ a wise man, I'm sure. One of them took a big
cheese to town to sell it one market day. He was on horse-
back, and just as he came to the brow of a steep hill just
outside the town, the cheese dropped and began to roll
down the slope like vengeance. " Oh, ho !" says he, "is
that the way 1 I'll take this other road into town, and I'll
engage I'll get there before you." So he put spurs to his
horse, and he was soon in the nighest street that was just
at the bottom of the hill. Neither the cheese nor the