Blair Collection > Rhys Lewis, minister of Bethel

386 RHYS LEWIS.
your life of which I had no right to seek the explanation. Can
I be of any service to you ?"
" You can— do not say a word about this call of mine, for I
cannot accept it. Also, if you please, gb to E. E. and ask him
to send a conveyance after me, along the Corwen road. T am
bound to leave at once. Perhaps I shall explain all this to you
some day."
Taking nothing with me but my top coat, and the little money
I possessed, I left; Williams, without another word, going
off to order the carriage. It was a long journey, which would
occupy nearly the whole day; but I was determined to go,
being tired of wearing a mask and living in fear. I was speedily
caught up by E. E,, who drove me to Corwen in good time to
lose the train. After a long wait, I welcomed the loneliness of
the railway carriage, wherein I could give the rein to my
thoughts without being obliged to speak to anybody. Hund-
reds and thousands of things passed through my mind. I read
Mr. Breece's letter over and over. Sometimes I thought it a
forgery ; my uncle being villain enough for that. But what
purpose such a forgery could answer I was not able to see.
If the letter stated a fact, I persuaded myself I understood
the meaning of the sentence, " everything he had told you was
not true." The words opened up a possibility which turned
my heart to ice, in view of which I saw that I could not accept
the call to the pastorate of Bethel. To me it was surprising
that a church, of which half the members were cognisant of
the history of my family, should have given such a call. But,
in the course of two and twenty years, people will forget a good
deal. During that period many things were made known to
me, to my sorrow, of which the chapel folk were utterly igno-
rant. I could not help my family connections ; but were the
sins of the fathers to be visited upon the children in my case ?
I feared they were. Was Providence leading me to settle down
in my old home in order to set my teeth on edge for the sour
fruit whereof my predecessors had eaten ? How could I think
of accepting the call ? And yet, what reason could I give for
refusing ? I had no other place to go to, although I longed
for an excuse to go far enough away — to Australia or some-
where. Again, I had neither part nor lot in the making of my