Blair Collection > Rhys Lewis, minister of Bethel

RHYS LEWIS. 345
of men ; but why, I asked, does God, in his Providence, seem
to be placing every obstacle in my way ? I could say, honestly
and unhesitatingly, I was no money-lover, and that my heart's
affections were fixed solely on preaching and fitting myseK for
the work. Still, I felt I could do nothing without money, and
there I was, by my own folly, left "as poor as a church
mouse." I thought so little of money that I had not yet
learned to take care of it. As I have already said, I believed I
was deeply desirous to be of use in my day and time ; but by
now I hadn't a penny to assist me in the work. My mind re-
verted, with discontent, I fear, to the scores of people I knew
who were rolling in riches, but who had never dreamt of
serving anybody but themselves; and "Will Bryan's words
came forcibly to memory — "Old pockets I They are but
intelligent pigs. It must be, look you, that the Great King
does not place much value on money, or He wouldn't have
given so much of it to the dunderheads ; " and he would add,
" Sir, says Mr. Fox, they are soui."
The question suddenly occurred to me had I been too much
accustomed to rely upon Abel Hughes, and had Providence, by
stripping me of all external help, invited me to throw myself,
as I did, into its arms ? It seemed presumption to think of
going to college with nothing about me save a sufficiency of
clothes and a few books. I remembered the man Thomas
Bartley spoke of who, trusting to Providence, had died in
Holywell workhouse. Anyhow, I resolved to do my best with
the work I had begun, and tried to believe that God would
speedily give me light upon my circumstances. Very early
next morning I notified Miss Hughes of my determination to
go to college. She was astounded. She had never believed,
she said, I could be so cruel towards her. I tried to reason
with her ; but to no purpose. It was through her heart she
saw everything, and not through her head. She offered me a
good salary if I stayed on with her; but I refused. After
much talk, she generously said she would give me a share of the
business. That offer, also, I rejected. She then fell back upon
the most effective argument a woman has at command — she
began to cry. She taunted me with all the kindness she had
shown me— pointed out how poor I was when I came to the