Blair Collection > Rhys Lewis, minister of Bethel

284 RHYS LEWIS.
the doing was against his own interest. It was akin to the
feeling which the worldling enjoys after he has driven a good
bargain. God, however, knows that I had in me the desire to
do what was just, although I had not the moral courage to do
it at the expense of bringing myself into misery and disgrace,
and the undoing of the programme I had drawn up in my own
mind. Well would it have been were this the only time I gave
in to expediency. I have heard, and I am not sure I myself have
not more than once remarked, that the performance of a single
act to which conscience does not say Amen, prepares man for
the commission of other acts of the like nature. Is this true
under every circumstance ? Not so was it with me on this
occasion. My work of taking self-interest and self-happiness
into consideration to the neglect of clear duty, roused the whole
of my moral nature to greater activity and a determination to
fulfil that which I considered mj'self bound to do. But this
possibly was, after all, merely an eflFort to atone for my sin. I
was strongly inclined to believe my uncle's story concering my
father"s death, and felt lighter-spirited, and freer to do what I
could in the cause of religion. I had an excellent master, and
was at liberty to attend every service held in the chapel— a
liberty I was not backward in using. Poor old Jones was
never over-desirous of going to chapel ; being nowhere so happy
as in the shop. Like a well-trained sheep dog, he knew one
thing, and one only. He knew how to measure cloths, fold
them and put them in their places. Had Abel Hughes said to
him, pointing to the pile, " Jones, lie down there !" he would
have obeyed and looked happy without, I quite believe, ever
moving from the spot again, until ordered or whistled to by
Abel. This made it easier for me to attend seiwices and meet-
ings. I fancy Abel thought it no use sending Jones to
chapel ; it was just like trying to make the negro white with
soap and water.
What changes had taken place in chapel since last it came
under notice in the present history! Noting changes always
makes me mournful, and compels me to think how short the
life of man is and how speedily we shall all have given up our
posts to other people. To the reflective, I think there is no
place like the chapel for bringing home this lesson. When one