Blair Collection > Rhys Lewis, minister of Bethel

RHYS LEWIS. 265
thoughts. I was in too much trouble about my condition and
creed to think of anything else. And yet I must confess that
Will's words : " You needn't shake your head ; it is a preacher
you will be," clung to me. He pronounced them with such
emphasis and certainty that 1 felt constrained to ask myself
was "Will, like Saul, among the prophets ? I scouted the notion ;
only no sooner did I do so than it would return. I recalled
the strange and wonderful feeling that came over me on the
night of Seth"e death, after my attempt to pray by his bedside ;
how something had told me, on my way home, that I would
some day be a preacher. But I could not help remembering,
also, how wicked, how sinful, how flippant I had been, dur-
ing the many years that had elapsed since mother died ; and I
fancied hearing unclean spirits at my elbow asking, amidst
derisive laughter, " Who art thou, to think of preaching ? Thou
who hast broken every commandment a thousand times?"
There were dozens of lads about my home who knew my old
life. How they would smile in the sleeve did I dare to talk of
such a thing ; how they would recall my old tricks, whilst I
preached ! And how I would remember them on seeing my
companions ! What, me a preacher ! Impossible ! But then
how came Will so confidently to predict it was a preacher I'
would be ? He knew more about me than anybody else in the
neighbourhood; aye, knew more of my faults. And yet he
had said, "You are bound to be a preacher!" Impossible,
said I to myseK. I am certain neither of my salvation nor my
faith. He who thinks of preaching should first of all be assu-
red of his own salvation. It is not so with me. Once more did I
discard the idea of becoming a preacher, it being out of the
question, I thought, that such a thing could ever happen.
Weeks passed ; and somehow, of late, I found myself no
longer caring for light-coloured clothes — not because I thought
of being a preacher, but because bkck clothes appeared more
becoming. I had light clothes no worse than new in my box, •
but I would not wear, because I did not like them. I made
up my mind that the next coat I got made for myself should be
a little longer-bodied, although not so long as the preachers',
not for anyone to think I -was imitating them, than wbich noth-
ing was farther from my mind. I took a special interest in