Towns > Forfar > 1885-1895, 1897-1911 - Forfar directory and year book > 1897

2nd Month."!
Three rejuovcs are as bad as a /lye.
[28 Days.
THK Bi\XllbH fc-NTKY INTO COuAlASSlK.
The Thoughtful Dog-Stealer.
FRIEND of Laiidseer's asked him to
(3^- paint his dog for him ; but on the day
fixed che animal was found to have been stolen.
The artist promised to recover it, if possible,
and went to a vi^ell-known dog-stealer, telling
him to let him have it— no questions asked.
The man said he could not possibly find it under
a fortnight, and at the end of that time appeared
with it ''You see," he said, " I did steal the
dawg ; but I sold it to such a trump ov a hold
lady for such ban howdacious price, I thought I
must let 'er'ave the benefit of it for a fortnight ! "
He had Said the Same Once.
" James, dear, will you bring me up a scuttle of
coal from the cellar? " said a busy wife.
" That's just the way with you ! " said James
with a frown, as he put dov.'n his book and rose
from the arm-chair. — " Just that way with me ? "
"Yes!" he snapped, "as soon as you see me
enjoying myself, you have something or other
for me to do. Didn't you see I was absorbed in
my reading?" — ' Well, dear, I will do it myself."
_ "Yes, and tell everybody — your mother espe-
cially — that you have to carry your own coal up
from the cellar. No, I'll do it. Let me mark
my place."
So he marked the place in the book at which
he had ceased reading, and when he went down
to the cellar, grumbling all the way, she picked
up the volume and found that it was a love-stor^'.
The passage he had been absorbed in was as
follows : — " My darling, when you are my wife
I will shield and protect you from everv care.
The wind of heaven shall not visit your face too
roughlv, those pretty hands shall never be soiled
by menial tasks, your wish shall be my law, your
happiness "
Just then he reappeared, and, dropping the
scuttle upon the floor, said, "There's your coal !
Give me my book."
The Origin of Tithes.
^ HE first charter by which tithes were granted
^ in England may be considered as a curious
historical document. The following is given as
a literal translation of it : —
" I, Ethel wolfe, by the grace of God, King of
the West Saxons, etc., with the advice of the
Bishops, Earls, and all persons of distinction in
my dominions, have, for the health of my sou),
the good of my people, and the prosperityof my
kingdom, taken the honourable resolution of
granting the tenth part of the lands throughout
my whole kingdom to the Church and ministers
of religion, to be enjoyed by them, with all the
privilege of a free tenure, and discharged from
all the encumbrances incident to lay-fees. This
grant has been made by us in honour of Jesus
Christ, the Blessed Virgin, and all_ Saints, and
out of regard to the Pascal solemnity, and that
Almighty God might vouchsafe his blessings on
us and our posterity. Dated at \yilton, Ann.
Dom. 854, at the Feast of Easter."
A Japanese Editress.
The Japan Gazette^ published in Yokohama,
was edited by a woman, who has been deposed
through a change of proprietorship. In her
valedictory she says : —
"It has been urged more than once that under
the present editorship it has been impossible for
our contemporaries to write freely ; but when we
recall the fact that we have been termed a liar
and a virago, likened to a senseless creature who
pokes the fire from the top, stigmati-^ed as an
irate female, a female fibber, and alluded to
in a variety of other amicable _v/ays, we are
tempted to wonder to what limits journalistic
freedom aspires to soar." She then adds:—
' ' / leave thee not with vain regret.
Nor yet ivitk I'ow to thee fo7-get ;
A ma?i, I i7ught have filled thee yet,
My Editorial Chair ! "