Wit and humor > Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny

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pause. After listening a while, he began to con¬
jecture who it was, and venturing a little nearer he
exclaims,—‘ Preserve us, what are you doing
here?’—‘What am I doing here!’ says Saunders,
‘I’ve been fechtin’ this twa hours wi’ that stupid
mare o’ mine, and deil ae fit she’ll lift yet.’
MY SHIRT.
As Bayes, whose cup with poverty was dash’d.
Lay snug in bed, while his one shirt was wash’d;
The dame appeared, and holding it to view,
Said, ‘If ’tis washed again, ’twill wash in two.’
‘ Indeed,’ cried Bayes; then wash it, pray, good
cousin,
And, wash it, if you can, into a dozen /’
A farmer who regularly attends Devizes market,
some short time since, (finding the article unsale¬
able) gave another farmer 100 bushels of potatoes,
which he was to send for, and on meeting there,
the following dialogue took place:—‘ How did the
’tatiesturn out?’ ‘Oh, main, good; I never eated
better uns for the time o’year, and they are pretty
nigh gone.’ ‘ Well, thee may ha’ some more on
tun if thee likest.’ ‘ Why if I do, thee and me
must ha’ a fresh agreement.’ ‘ Fresh agreement!
why dint I gie thee the’taties?’ ‘Ah, but I can’t
afford to ha’ ony more if thee don’t pay one of the
pikes!’ The waggon had to pass two turnpike
gates, the toll at one was 4d. and the other 4|d.
The Bane and Antidote.—The town bellman
of Kirriemuir having received a written advertise¬
ment to that effect, proclaimed in the midst of the
assembled multitude, on a fair day, in that ancient
burgh of regality or barony, as follows:—‘Notish
.—All persons driving their cattle through the lands
of Logie, to or from the market, will be prosecuted