Glen Collection of printed music > Printed text > Whistle-Binkie, or, The piper of the party

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' Mrs. Pinkerton, quo* I, what's that ye mean, mem ? and then she be.
gan and gied me a' the ill-mannered abuse you can possibly conceive.
And I just says to her, quo' I, Mrs. Pinkerton, quo' I, that's no -what
I cam to hear, and if that's the way ye intend to gae on, quo' I, I wish
ye gude morning, so I comes awa. Now I'll tell ye what a' this was about,
Ye see, it was just about the term time, ye ken, they flitted aboon us,
and I gaed up on the term morning to see if they wanted a kettle boiled
or anything o' that kind ; and when I gaed in, Mr. Pinkerton, he's sit-
ting in the middle o' the floor, and the barber's shaving him, and the
barber had laid a' his face round wi' the white saip, and Mr. Pinkerton,
ye ken, has a very red nose, and the red nose sticking through the white
saip, just put me in mind o' a carrot sticking through a colly flower; and
I very innocently happened to mention this in a party where I had been
dining, and some officious body's gane and tell't Mrs. Pinkerton, and
Mrs. Pinkerton's ta'en this wonderfully amiss. What d'ye think o' Mrs.
Pinks?' 'Deed, mem, she's no worth your while; but did you hear
what happened to Mrs. Clapperton the ither day ?' ' No, mem. What's
happened to her, poor body ?' « I'll tell you that, mem. You see, she
was coming down Montrose Street, and she had on a red pelisse and a
white muff, and there's a bubbly-jock * coming out o' the breweree—
and whether the red pelisse had ta'en the beast's eye or no, I dinna
ken, but the bubbly-jock rins after Mrs. Clapperton, and BIrs. Clapper-
ton ran, poor body, and the bubbly-jock after her, and in crossing the
causey, ye see, her fit slippet, and the muff flew frae her, and there's
a cart coming past, and the wheel o' the cart gaes o'er the muff, and ae
gentleman rins and lifts Mrs. Clapperton, and anither lifts the muff,
and when he looks into the muff, what's there, but a wee bit broken
bottle, wi* a wee soup brandy in't; and the gentlemen fell a looking
and laughing to ane anither, and they're gaun about to their dinner
parties and their supper parties, and telling about BIrs. Clapperton
wi' the bubbly-jock and the bottle o' brandy. Now it's vera ill
done o' the gentlemen to do any thing o' the kind, for Mrs. Clapperton
was just like to drap down wi' perfect vexation, for she's a body o' that
kind o" laithfu' kind o' disposition, she would just as soon take aqua-
fortis as she would take brandy in ony clandestine kind o' manner!
* Turkey-cock.