Series 1 > Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Wariston 1632-1639

DIARY, 1637-1639
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selth or to the means; then, after this despaire, thou cust thy
eies upon Gods pouer, his call, his treuth, the interest of his
glorie, worship, churche, in the cause, thy auin experience of his
providence and assistance to the evin in civil things, and in
som particulars of this sam busines. Despairing as it wer
mor and mor of thyselth, and of al means, thou cast thyselth in
the armes of God, desyring him to look to himselth, his cause,
his churche, and the his unworthy servant quhom he had
called, and quhos eies was only towards him quho could only
work wonders, and this, without a wonderful, admirable pro¬
vidence and assistance, could not be doone; praying from
the bottom of my heart this dilemma that the Lord wald
prsepaire, assist, and strenthen if he called me, or wald not
call me if he did not praepaire and assist me. After this
exercise I did wryte ane sensible letter to my mother for to
incourage hir and myselth by the gloriousnes of the saints
chairge in thair tryals for Gods cause. I got som tears, after
the wryting my letter, to God upon thos expressions quhilk the
Lord in my letters maiks to fall fra my penne, that he wald
maik me find them as so many real praeparations for any trial
he wil call me to; the Lord graunt for Chrysts saik.
Upon Saturday morning I got som good; at night I
apoynted ane fast in my familie.
On Sunday morning, after long wrasteling in privat, I fand n Feb.
the Lord with me in my familie exercise, quhairin my sauls
discourse ran upon the curiositie of man to forknou quhat is
to com concerning his estait, lyfe, honor, children, and yet
mans negligence to use the means of forknouing the estait of
his saule heirafter, and to maik our election sure; upon our
desyre to forknou quhat wald befal this staite, churche, our¬
selves, this cause in hand quhither right or wrong, religion or
idolatrie, peace or warre; that the surest, notablest prognosti- My prognosti¬
cation of quhat wil befall us is the disposition of our auin call0n-
hearts towards our God in al our wayes, especyaly in the
exercises of his worschip and our privat retyrings; quhen they
ar right within al goes right without; quhen they ar wrong
al goes wrong ; as we in them ar absent or present with God
we find the Lord absent or present with us in the works of his
providence. Quhen our hearts ar in a right tune, God let us