Series 1 > Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Wariston 1632-1639

226
DIARY OF LORD WARISTON
acknoledge his praepairing mercies for, his assisting under, his
manifesting mercies in it. Blissed, blissed be the Lord God
for thir unspeakable liberties, quherby, seing he stayeth my
mynd on himselth in my greatest troubles, I hoope he wil keape
me in perfyte peace, for my saule trusteth in him accordingly
as he haith promised 26 c. Isay 3 v. Come quhat wil come,
never had I surer forruners of a blissing; Lord, Lord, let me
never read them without thanking the for them. Afternoone,
I read out Boltons treatise of comforting afflicted consciences.
Thairafter, in my retyrings, I fand the Lord pourfully assisting
me in my prayers with tears and strong cryes, as also urging
me to resinge absolutly al my inmest wisses evin concerning ane
outward blissing in my particular, quhilk, suppose after great
struglings with flesch and blood, I obteaned at the last from
my affections by ane tearful selfdenyal, only requyring of the
Lord the sight of his love, pouer, wysdom, indulgent pro¬
vidence turning it to his glory and our asternal weal, quhither
by ane outward blissing or crosse according to his faytherly
reconciled wysdome.
On Sunday morning I most confesse in my exercises the
dulnes of my sprit, heavines of my body, distractednesse of
mynd, and the unsanctifiednes of my affections, my insensiblenes
of Gods presence, my miseries or necessities, the deadnes of al
this exercise. Thairafter, in meditation, the Lord presented
to my eies the wants of my fear of God notwithstanding al
his judgements, of my love to God notwithstanding al his
indulgences, of my trust in him notwithstanding al my bygon
experiences, quherby my sprits was stirred up, and thair¬
after mor wakned by hearing of my mothers seaklines. After
foranoons sermon and my distracted, caldraif prayers and
groanings to God thairat, the Lord send me ane sudden and
terrible wakning by my mothers fearful suerfing and sounding,
quherat al my bfrdy quaiked, my heart almost failed me; bot
after hir revivings, with a confused feare and greif of heart, in
the study I blissed the Lord for hir, confessed my deservings
of his retyring hir from me, submitted (as flesch and blood
would or could) my wil unto the Lords, and with strong cryes,
bitter tears, unspeakable groans, prayed for mercie to hir saule
and health to hir body. Sundry tymes I went doune and