Series 1 > Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Wariston 1632-1639

MEMENTO QUAMDIU VIVAS
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brydle my affections as to keape me not only outwardly from
scandilizing uthers, as he keaped my body befor my mariage,
bot also inwardly from offending of God or polluting of my
conscience be the verrie first thoughts, desyrs, wisses of lust.
And then I cryed, ‘ O Lord, if thou wilt so keape, defend, and
gaird my heart (quhilk thou askest and I give it over unto the)
from yealding unto the first beginnings of sine, I schal bear,
yea and heartily bear, the sensible burthen of thy wrayth ; yea,
O Lord, I wisse and prayeth the, most ardently as ever I prayed
the for any thing, that thou wald rayther trouble my mynd
with inward terrors, and my body with outward torments,
my naime with disgraces and calumnies, my estaite with
povertie; yea, Lord, tak rayther away from me al wordly
blissings and burden me with al wordlie calamities, yea
evin with thos unspeakable terrors of mynd, befor ever
thou leave me unto myselth, unto the tyrannie of the devil
and unto the sclaverie of my prasdominant. 0 Lord, thou
knoueth that, provyding I did not blaspheme thy glorious
naime in hell, I would rayther wisse presently to goe doune
unto thos torments nor to live in the world disgracing the,
scandalizing thy religion, my profession, schaiming my freinds,
and offending thy servants. Lord, I tak the to witnes, the fear
of hell terrifieth me not half so mutch as the fear of yeelding to
my predominant; and, O Lord, if thou wilt so uphold me under
tentations, my saule voueth for to blisse the mor heartily for
it nor for al the blissings of the world, yea nor for my assur¬
ance to be glorified in the heavens. For, as I pray the mor
for to be delyvered from sine nor from punischment of by-
gons, so conformely I wil blisse the mor for the on nor for the
uther. My second petition was that God wald glorifie him-
selth, edifie his servants and my freinds, and saive my sillie
saule, both in my lyfe and in my death by inabling me to live
as the chyld of God and to die as the chyld of God ; desyring
as heartily to live the lyfe of the righteous in grace as to die
thair death and to obtaine everlasting glory, wissing in al my
actions and affections ever to haive ane greater respect unto
God and his glory nor unto myselth and my salvation, yea to
haive ane greater respect to the aedification of Gods curche
nor unto my auine consolation. In my prayer on my knees I
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