Series 1 > Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Wariston 1632-1639

MEMENTO QUAMDIU VIVAS 17
ane burden to me and I unto the earth farre mor nou nor
then.
2dly I never had any hoipe, or verry litle (except trusting in
Gods absolut pouer), to doe any good in the world eyther by
furdring of Gods glory, the weal of wthers, or my auine salva¬
tion, in my privat lyfe of ane Christian or in the publik of ane
particular calling; first, becaus I never fand no abilite for the
last, yea on the contraire I fand God ever crossing my studies
quhen I set my mynd to use the ordinar means for the inabling
me therin, and for the doing of any good in the calling of ane
Christian nou God hes taken away the occasion of it by
separating my family quhilk I might haive instructed, and
calling to himselth my wyfe quhom to I was ever comunicating
the good that God did to my saule.
Sly I was ever in ane fear to doe evil, trembling ever least,
the Lord leaving me to myselth, I sould schaime him, scandalize
my religion, and offend al that pertaineth me; for by doolful
experience I may knou the sliperie sliderines of my affections
unto evil, and hou al my lyfe is spent in being tempted, in
yealding to the tentation, quhilk wil bring on the judgement
of God upon me againe and nou specialy seing the Lord haith
nou loosed the chainzie to my rasch affections and unto the
roaring lyon of outward lust.
0 saule, remember that Mr. Hery haiving doone quhat he
could to speak peace to thy wakned conscience and som word
of comfort to thy afflicted saule, as also of direction, and
protection from God in al my perplexites and tentations ;
he having once said that he feared thou was to follou fast
after the half marrau, O saule, never forget hou thou
was transported for joie, thy body trimbled, and the
bed schook for hope and ane earnest ardor to be with
the Lord, evin in sutch ane extraordinar maner as thy sisters,
fearing that the Lord was calling the out of this lyfe, send
post haist after Mr. Hery quhen he was going hoome;
O then hou told thou to them al Gods goodnes to thy saule
and thy unspeakable desyre to be with him, and wissing, ex¬
horting them al to fear God for at his right hand thair was
pleasurs for evermor; quhou hard thy heart rayther nor thy
ears the penitential psalmes read unto the by thy sister; hou