Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
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[535/_] a.s. A Young Woman of 23 years1
When I was a child I was put to School to learn to read; but I was so much
set upon my diversions, & so much neglected, that I learnd little more than
to read the Catechism;2 and when I came to more years & went to Service,
I could not find leisure to learn to read, tho I much desir’d; but I came
t© by following the Minister with my eye on my Bible, as he read that
portion of Scripture, he was going to Lecture on, on the Sabbaths, I came
gradually to learn to read, more than by any other way. I never pray’d any
by my self alone till I was about 14 years of age, when I was in the Kirk
on the Lords day, hearing a Minr. (10)3 praying That God would set up his
Worship in every Family and his fear in every heart, and that there might
not be a prayerless person in all that Congregation, from that time I inclind
to pray at I thought it a sad thing that I should be one of the prayerless
persons in the Congregation, & resolv’d to try it when I went home: but
did not know how to fall about it; but going out to a Dyke-side by my
self, I essayd it twice but could get nothing to say; upon which I wept
much; but the third time, I got some Expressions put into my mouth, &
some freedom: & for some days [ ]4 after that, I thought I was come to that,
that I could pray well enough. [536/—] After this I sometimes pray’d once
a day but often neglected it and a very little matter would have made me
neglect it. And because I was all along in Providence kept from outwardly
gross things before the World, I thought there was no fear of me, & all
would be well with me. When any thing vex’d me I would have said, O
that I were dead, that I might get out of this ill world; but then I did not
know where I would have gone to if I had died, whether to Heaven or
Hell: but I thought I would be made to know it when I was dying. But
I had never any serious Concern about my heart, nor the necessity of its
being chang’d. When I would have read of the wickedness of the heart, I
would have said within my self, Tm sure my heart is not wicked. When
I would have thought of Christs coming into the World to save sinners,
and of his coming to call, not the righteous but sinners to repentance, I
would have said to my self, Well, it seems Christ came to save me, for I am
a Sinner; & that unless I had committed some sins, Christ would never call
me or save me. And by many such foolish and Sinful reasonings, the devil,
1 Margaret Borland - the shorthand text in McCulloch’s ‘Index of persons’ names who gave
the foregoing accounts to Mr. McC’ states: resident in Bothwell, daughter of James Borland,
tenant in Shawfield.
2 Shorter Catechism of the Westminster Assembly (1647).
3 Sir William Hamilton (d. 1749) - minister, Bothwell.
4 Insertion [‘two or three years’]: McCulloch.