Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
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in my right hand.4 In hearing that Sermon I found my self struck thro’ the
heart by the power of God coming along with what was said, which appeard
to be all leveld against me in particular. He spoke much of Covetousness &
worldly mindedness [379/3 ] as being Spiritual Idolatry: and this had been my
great predominant sin: & when he said the Spiritual Idolater, the Covetous
worlding (the person particularly aim’d at in the text) could not say with the
Psalmist []5 Lord, I am continually with thee;6 but he might justly say.
0 World, I am continually with thee, when I am going to sleep at night, &
when I awake in the morning, and all the day long, I am continually with
thee, & thou art continually with me. These words in a particular manner
were made to pierce me to the heart, & I saw I was just the person described,
& fell into great distress of soul, at the thoughts that I had been so much
taken up about the World, & had neglected God so much: []7 & that I had
been all along feeding upon such ashes & base husks, & had been led astray
from God by a deceived heart: but tho my distress was great I did not at this
time or at any other, cry out openly among the people, nor did I ever swarf
or faint, or find any convulsions or bodily pains, but I have frequently been
made to burst out into tears thro anguish of heart, tho I kept all as quiet &
secret from the notice of others as possible. I went home that night in great
heaviness of spirit & uneasiness of heart, & went to Secret prayer; & confess’d
this my great guilt of too great eagerness after the world & deceiving my own
soul [ ] :8 & had great freedom in pouring out my heart before him. And
after this my Convictions of sin went on from day to day.
[380/4] In hearing several Sermons on the Brae at Camb. Brae before this,
1 had concerning the evil & danger of the Sin of Unbehef (26), I had got
some Sight and Sense of that Sin: but now I got a deeper and more affecting
Sense of this Sin at that Sermon in the Kirk at Camb. than ever before. I was
then made to see that I justly deserved hell, but I can not say that I was then
or at any time else terrifyd with the thoughts of hell. After this I found the
Sermons at Camb. more agreeable to me than before, but continued for some
weeks in great heaviness under a sense of my sins [].9
One Sabbath after this coming home from Camb. a person by the way
observing an appearance of sadness & concern upon me, askd me, If I was yet
got into any Society for Prayer, I answered no: the person promised to take
me into one & did so soon after. At one of these meetings I was desird to pray,
15344:20.
Insertion [‘Nevertheless O’]: McCulloch.
Ps 73:23.
Insertion subsequently marked out for deletion: [-
past life’]: McCulloch.
Insertion [‘and other sins’]: McCulloch.
Insertion [‘but often I went home with a sad heart fearing I would not profit under the
Gospel so clearly dispensd’]: McCulloch.