Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

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EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
people, [The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God the Father,
the Communion of the Holy Ghost be with you all Amen]61 thought these
words were made a mean of taking a great part of the burden of distress that
was on my Spirit, off me, while I was made to think, That the Lord had sent
forth his Servant to bless his People in his name, I hop’d that he would bless
me with Christs imputed Righteousness, without which I now saw, there
was no real Blessing or Salvation. After this I fell under a Conviction of many
other Sins as particularly my Pride, Self-conceit hypocrisy and breach of the
Sabbath-day. And there was scarce a sin could be nam’d, but I found it stirring
in my heart. And while I was under these Convictions, I thought much & oft
of the Punishment of Loss, (What a dreadful thing it was to loss the favour
[304/—] and enjoyment of God for ever) but not of the punishment of Sense.
And my convictions at length rose to that height that I thought there was no
mercy for me. But while I thought so, that word came often into my mind,
The Chief of Sinners:7 I knew that word was spoken by the Apostle Paul
of himself, and that yet he obtained mercy: & therefore tho I was sensible
that I was the Chief of Sinners, I found some glimmerings of hope break in,
that I might likewise obtain mercy.
There was one thought that yielded me some comfort when I thought
of Hell, and that was, That God was glorify’d in the punishment of the
damn’d there: and therefore, that if God should condemn me to everlasting
Separation from him, he would be glorified in my Condemnation. I had also
another thought as to this matter. That tho the Damn’d would not glorify
Gods Mercy, yet they would glorify his Justice: but this I came afterward
to see was a wrong thought, for that tho Gods Justice would be glorifyd in
them, yet they would not glorify his Justice.
[305/-] While I was one day thinking on the sadness of my own condition,
that word cast up to my thoughts, Come unto me all ye that labour & are
heavy laden and I will give you rest, which gave me some Encouragement,
& made me to believe that Christ was willing to receive all them that came
to him in ways of his own appointment, & I desird to be made willing to do
so. And about this time, or shortly after, these words came with power and
light into my mind, I will take away the heart of stone, & give you a heart
of flesh,8 & these, Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power;9
which gave me some Comfort, beheving that he that had made these Promises
was able also to perform them, and that he would accomplish them to me.
There were many Temptations from Satan with which I had to conflict,
which would be tedious to mention, tho my memory could serve me to
6 Text bracketed by McCulloch.
7 1 Ti 1:13.
8 Eze 11 :i9, Eze 36:26.
9 Ps 110:3.