Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

104
EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
no sooner come away; but all my former fears & doubts return’d, & was made
to conclude that all was nothing but delusion I had met with. I went to a
Minr (yf)54 and told him the matter, who gave me but little comfort, but said.
If this be the way of the working of the Spirit of the Lord, it is strange. He
ask’d me if I was capable to know, if the shocking terrors I had been under,
were the wounds of a friend, or if I thought they were the wounds of an
Enemy? I told him, L-eould him, that I took them to have been the sharp
arrows of the Almighty piercing my soul with convictions of sin, & therefore
I took these to have been the wounds of a Friend: but I was then under such
doubts & fears at the time, that I durst not then add that he had often taken
me into the mount of communion with himself, & shew’d me his kindness&
love. I told him also that I had cast my self at his footstool & was minded if
I perishd to perish at his feet. He told me that if I had put on these Resolutions
& would keep by them, that there was no fear of me, for there was never any
that perishd at the feet of Sovereign mercy. And advis’d me to go to Secret
Prayer, as an excellent mean of Relig. I did so but continued in distress that
week. On Sabbath next (being the preparation Sabbath before the Sacrament
at Douglass. In hearing a Minr (n)55 saying That there were several places
that were now watered from Heaven, as the Return of Prayers, & []56 that
the wrath of God was hanging over my head and would press me down to
hell immediatly. That Minr at night, asked me if I was not willing to accept
of Christ in all his offices. I told him, if my heart deceived me not, I was
heartily willing to receive him in [229/—] all of those offices, as a prophet to
teach a priest to save me by the merit of his sacrifice & power & intercession
& as a king to rule over me. On Saturday hearing a Minr (26)57 preach on
that Text, Ye who were sometimes alienated & enemies58—I fell under such
a Sense of the natural Enmity & deep corruption of my heart, which I could
not get remov’d, that I could not forbear crying out some, tho I strove against
it what I could. On Sabbath Evening, hearing that Minr (26) on that Text,
Behold I come quickly &c:59 Satan suggested to me That the whole
Congregation saw Christ wearing a Crown of thorns & knew that it was I
that had put it on his head, at which I cry’d out most bitterly thinking there
was no mercy for me that had done so by my sin. I continu’d in great distress
for about ten days after, & was willing to be put into any state [ ]60 if I might
have Christ, within which was all I was seeking; when one day when I was
at Secret Prayer at home, these words came into my mind, Is.51.21,22. Therefore
54 Identified in McCulloch’s index as ‘Wm Bogle 75’.
55 William Hamilton (1689-1769) - minister, Douglas.
56 Insertion [‘I apprehended’]: McCulloch.
57 William McCulloch (1691—1771) - minister, Cambuslang.
58 Col 1:21.
59 Rev 22:7, Rev 22:12.
60 Insertion [‘if it had been even to go to hell it self’]: McCulloch.