Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6

EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
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with horrid blasphemous thoughts, & hellish wicked Suggestions of the
Devil. This made [85/—] my life bitter & burdensome to me, and when I was
sore vexed, and in great bitterness of Spirit with these Suggestions, the Evil
One would have ply’d me hard with Temptations to Dispatch, or Make away
my self, one way or other: At length one day as I was at my Secret Prayer in
the Stable, & happening to lift up my Eyes to the Roof of the House, my
Eye fixt on one of the Sticks there, & Satan suggested, that there was now a
Stick, about which I might very conveniently fasten a Rope, & hang my self.
At that instant, that Word came into my mind, “I have with-held thee from
sinning against me”. This came with so much Power & Life to my Soul []6
& fill’d me with much Love & Thankfulness to God and admiration of his
Goodness, in keeping me back from yielding to that dreadful Temptation to
destroy my self with my own hands; & that had kept my will from consenting
to these wicked & blasphemous thoughts with which my mind had been so
long pester’d. But after this, I was no longer troubled with these temptations
& suggestions, as I had been.
For about 3 years after this, that is, till I was about 24 years of age, I
was kept on in a course of rejoicing in God, & in Endeavours to mortify
sin, & specially my Beloved Lusts & Corruptions. Some-time in these 3
years, I communicated for the first time at [86/-] Biddernock. Before I
went to the Table of the Lord, & []7 [0 In the time of the Action-Sermon,
Satan disturbd me much with his Temptations, to keep me back from the
Table; but when the Minister () came to show who might communicate &
who not, I felt my heart fill’d with hatred of these sins, for which persons
were debarrd, & could humbly apply the Marks on these Invited to come
there: And God was pleasd to rebuke the Tempter, & to restrain him from
giving me any trouble. And I was helped to apply the promises with much
comfort.]8 On Munday morning, my master with whom I servd, refusd to
allow me to go to hear that Sermons, at which I was much vex’d, andj but
as I was out in the fields, going quick []9 I fell o’re a Dyke & had almost
broke my neck, but that word coming at that Instant, into my mind, grieve
not the Holy Spirit by which ye are sealed unto the day of Redemption:10
after this going in to my Masters House, he spake to me in a very kind
way, & bade me put on my Cloaths & go to the Ordinances, at which
change I was surpris’d & overjoy’d.
6 Insertion [‘that I fell back from my knees on the ground with joy & wonder’]: McCulloch.
7 Insertion [‘before I went to it my right to come was made clear from that text of the Action
Sermon I<.at the Table Christ was made very precious to my Soul’]:
McCulloch.
8 Marked for removal and placement moved to [0]: McCulloch.
9 Insertion [‘& resolving I would not go there’]: McCulloch.
10 Eph 4:30.