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EXAMINATIONS OF PERSONS UNDER SPIRITUAL CONCERN II
21
would have, I think, persuaded me altogether. That there was no God. [51/-]
And indeed I had been a kind of Atheist in practice almost all along before:
I livd without God in the world: my life had been a continued Tract of Sin
& Folly. I had not the Temptations & Opportunities to sin that many have,
else, I think, there was scarce any sin but I would have committed it. I car’d
not what mischief I did, so be I could get it hid from the eyes of the world.
Yet the many of the Evils I was guilty of I was drawn into by others, thro’
a natural easiness of temper. I usd to be just & honest in my dealings: In my
younger years, till I was about fourteen years of age I could drink no ale or
other liquor, but would have trembled when any would have put a cup of
ale into my hand: At length, when about that age, two men offered me each
a penny, if I would drink one cup full of ale: I took the two pence & drank
it off, and after that I learn’d to drink better from time to time, at length I
could not want it, and came just to make a Trade of it, and often abus’d my
self with it & drank to Excess, [f]41 sometimes usd to let an oath fly, when in
passion or in drinks; but I could not endure to hear others swear; and if any
of the company drinking with me fell a swearing, I would have immediatly
run to the door and away. And if I was bad before, I turnd much worse and
wickeder, during that six years that I quite left off all Prayer.
[52/—] In the year 1742 hearing a minister () at the Brae of Cambuslang,
on that Text, Is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there,5 I fell
under a great terror of the wrath of God, so that I thought I felt the ground
where I was sitting all shaking : and thought oh how shall I be able to endure
the punishment due to my sins! [ ]6 I was seizd with much horror for fear of
the punishment of sin, but I had no sense of the evil of sin as dishonouring
to God; I fell however again to pray both by my self & in my family; and
continued to do so, but, I continued still my drinking Trade: [ ]7 That Summer
I heard another minister (12)8 preach at Camb. I fell again under great Terror
and thought I would certainly perish for ever: and while I was hearing in this
condition, with my hand over my Eyes, Hell was represented to my mind, as
a Pit at the foot of a Hill, and a great drove of people marching into it, & I
4 Insertion [‘f Sometimes I have workd all day & drunk all night after, & then followed my
work the next day again. And once, I remember, I wrought each lawful day of the week &
drank every night of that week out & out without sleeping any at all till Saturdays night’]:
McCulloch.
5 Jer 8:22.
6 Insertion [‘I then thought I was caught up between the sky and the ground, & there I thought
I shrank altogether when up in the air but fear’d I would fall down again & be crushd all to
pieces.’]: McCulloch.
7 Insertion [‘I went often to Alehouses and drank long there and still after my great fit of
drinking, I could scarce sleep above an hour when I came home; being startled with uneasy
thoughts & fears of judgment ready to overtake me for it, & yet when inward I would seek
to it yet again.’]: McCulloch.
8 George Whitefield (1714-^70) - evangelist.
21
would have, I think, persuaded me altogether. That there was no God. [51/-]
And indeed I had been a kind of Atheist in practice almost all along before:
I livd without God in the world: my life had been a continued Tract of Sin
& Folly. I had not the Temptations & Opportunities to sin that many have,
else, I think, there was scarce any sin but I would have committed it. I car’d
not what mischief I did, so be I could get it hid from the eyes of the world.
Yet the many of the Evils I was guilty of I was drawn into by others, thro’
a natural easiness of temper. I usd to be just & honest in my dealings: In my
younger years, till I was about fourteen years of age I could drink no ale or
other liquor, but would have trembled when any would have put a cup of
ale into my hand: At length, when about that age, two men offered me each
a penny, if I would drink one cup full of ale: I took the two pence & drank
it off, and after that I learn’d to drink better from time to time, at length I
could not want it, and came just to make a Trade of it, and often abus’d my
self with it & drank to Excess, [f]41 sometimes usd to let an oath fly, when in
passion or in drinks; but I could not endure to hear others swear; and if any
of the company drinking with me fell a swearing, I would have immediatly
run to the door and away. And if I was bad before, I turnd much worse and
wickeder, during that six years that I quite left off all Prayer.
[52/—] In the year 1742 hearing a minister () at the Brae of Cambuslang,
on that Text, Is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there,5 I fell
under a great terror of the wrath of God, so that I thought I felt the ground
where I was sitting all shaking : and thought oh how shall I be able to endure
the punishment due to my sins! [ ]6 I was seizd with much horror for fear of
the punishment of sin, but I had no sense of the evil of sin as dishonouring
to God; I fell however again to pray both by my self & in my family; and
continued to do so, but, I continued still my drinking Trade: [ ]7 That Summer
I heard another minister (12)8 preach at Camb. I fell again under great Terror
and thought I would certainly perish for ever: and while I was hearing in this
condition, with my hand over my Eyes, Hell was represented to my mind, as
a Pit at the foot of a Hill, and a great drove of people marching into it, & I
4 Insertion [‘f Sometimes I have workd all day & drunk all night after, & then followed my
work the next day again. And once, I remember, I wrought each lawful day of the week &
drank every night of that week out & out without sleeping any at all till Saturdays night’]:
McCulloch.
5 Jer 8:22.
6 Insertion [‘I then thought I was caught up between the sky and the ground, & there I thought
I shrank altogether when up in the air but fear’d I would fall down again & be crushd all to
pieces.’]: McCulloch.
7 Insertion [‘I went often to Alehouses and drank long there and still after my great fit of
drinking, I could scarce sleep above an hour when I came home; being startled with uneasy
thoughts & fears of judgment ready to overtake me for it, & yet when inward I would seek
to it yet again.’]: McCulloch.
8 George Whitefield (1714-^70) - evangelist.
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Scottish History Society volumes > Series 6 > McCulloch examinations of the Cambuslang revival (1742) > Volume 6 > (36) Page 21 |
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Description | Over 180 volumes, published by the Scottish History Society, containing original sources on Scotland's history and people. With a wide range of subjects, the books collectively cover all periods from the 12th to 20th centuries, and reflect changing trends in Scottish history. Sources are accompanied by scholarly interpretation, references and bibliographies. Volumes are usually published annually, and more digitised volumes will be added as they become available. |
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