Series 1 > Journal of the Hon. John Erskine of Carnock, 1683-1687

ERSKINE’S JOURNAL
quhen I had the opportunity and offered to pray, I could say but
little, and that to as little purpose, quhich seemed to be my
quenching of the Spirit, and not keeping faith in exercise, by
letting loose my thoughts and mind to idle vanities; yea, this is a
hellish trick and deceit of Satan’s to lett people have now and
then a seeming joy of hearing the word and love to Christ, and
takes the rest of that time for his owne worke : yea, people may
come a greater length, even to teaste of the heavenly gift, Heb.
6. 4, 5, and if they fall away its impossible for them to recover,
ver. 6. O but he that stands hes need to take heed lest he fall.
This scripture Heb. 6. 6, hes much troubled me, fearing lest it be
made out in me.
Quhen I came to Edinburgh in October 1683, and discovered
to some my intentione in goeing to a wrytter’s chamber that
sessione, and designe in doing so,1 they not only applauded my
resolution, but wer pleased to put ane undeserved esteim on me
to my face. This did scar me and make me looke back on my
past ways, and search what ground they had to have such
thoughts of me. And at last I found that they looked to my not
keeping companie with the known and groslie profane. They
had no ground to think so of me, because I might be in a great
pairt restrained from that (even contrair to my oune inclinatione
and natur) by being seldom out of my mother’s companie, whose
greif it would have been to see her children goe that way: and
also, by the good educatione and example I had from LMR.2
and others my masters. Yea, education will reforme very far quher
ther is no grace; yea, a principle of moralitie itself will keep us
from useing lewd and profain companie, because of its destruction
to man’s health and bodie.
30 March ’84. How that remembering former providences
and mercies did much incline and warme to affection after God,
and to have his presence in goeing about dewtie: How David
after recollecting him self in the beginning of severall psalms, falls
on soul exercise.
I found quhen reading a book leatly a great dislyk even quhen
the subject was best, quhich proceeded only from a dislyke to the
author for his complyance with the government and reflecting on
others and presbyterian Government.
1 See the Journalt p, 19.
2 A monogram j the middle letter may be intended for M or W or H.