Series 1 > Miscellany of the Scottish History Society (Second volume)

A SCOTTISH JOURNIE
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That by restraint, which our creation gave.
Cupid and Priapus agree in one,
’Tis not the hand or face wee’d have alone,
’Tis nature’s Jacke, and wee are biast soe
As gives what ground you will to that we goe.
My Lord was modest, yet he daunct his round,
And for a pretty wench, I dare be bound,
Hee ’le not sitt out, to shew us what it is
To be a stowt man, and whose sonne he is.
And next Endimion layes his fat sides too’t.
Mustering up desires enough to doo’t.
He whispers somthing to the lasse i ’th’ jigge.
But she cries Hewty Sh-, the loades too bigge.
Then youthfull Progers firkes it for a while
And puts his motions to a wanton stile.
He was so hott at hand, that for a spurt
He ran away with’t, stript himselfe too’s shirt.
But O his nose bleeds now and for excuse
He wearied sitts him downe, and cryes king’s truce.
Then our victorious Paggie capers high,
And straind soe hard that something she let fly.
If Captaine Rossingham1 had heard the same
He would have spread it on the wings of fame
For hee’s a noble soule, his penne of late
Hath ruld the roast in our most subtile state.
And for his paines in writeing may he gett
The fruite of all sucli scapes as subjects lett.
And now the better part o’th’ night is past
Yet we to bed ward make but litle hast,
We saw no stately object to invite
A slumber, or our senses to delight.
Vitruvius here had not a hand at all
O’th’ fabricke of a chamber or a hall,
Necessity puts architecture out.
And all those pleasures which the mortall route
Invent to flatter nature, here’s no change
You must lye downe and sleepe, or wake i’th’ range
Which is so close and streight, men looke in bed
As if one’s feet grew out of the others head,
Or if that head to head they lye why then
1 Famous as a writer of news-letters, many of which are to be found amongst
the Domestic State Papers of this period.