Collected works > Edinburgh edition, 1894-98 - Works of Robert Louis Stevenson > Volume 28, 1898 - Appendix

THE CHARITY BAZAAR
was attained. The act of giving away money for charitable
purposes is, by this admirable invention, transformed into an
amusement, and puts on the externals of profitable commerce.
You play at shopping a while ; and in order to keep up the
illusion, sham goods do actually change hauds. Thus, under
the similitude of a game, I have seen children confronted with
the horrors of arithmetic, and even taught to gargle.
The Ingenuous Public. — You expound this subject very
magisterially, Sir. But tell me, would it not be possible to
carry this element of play still further ? and after I had
remained a proper time in the Bazaar, and negotiated a
sufficient number of sham bargains, would it not be possible
to return me my money in the hall ?
The Tout. — I question whether that would not impair the
humour of the situation. And besides, my dear Sir, the pith
of the whole device is to take that money from you.
The Ingenuous Public. — True. But at least the Bazaar
might take back the tea-cosies and pen-wipers.
The Tout. — I have no doubt, if you were to ask it hand-
somely, that you would be so far accommodated. Still it is
out of the theory. The sham goods, for which, believe me, I
readily understand your disaffection — the sham goods are well
adapted for their purpose. Your lady wife will lay these tea-
cosies and pen-wipers aside in a safe place, until she is asked
to contribute to another Charity Bazaar. There the tea-cosies
and pen-wipers will be once more charitably sold. The new
purchasers, in their turn, will accurately imitate the dis-
positions of your lady wife. In short, Sir, the whole affair is
a cycle of operations. The tea-cosies and pen-wipers are
merely counters ; they come off and on again like a stage
army ; and year after year people pretend to buy and pretend
to sell them, with a vivacity that seems to indicate a talent
for the stage. But in the course of these illusory manoeuvres,
a great deal of money is given in charity, and that in a
picturesque, bustling, and agreeable manner. If you have to