Fiction > Serialisations > London, 1893 - David Balfour

73°
DAVID BALFOUR.
On the steep stair I came near falling, and this
brought me to myself, so that I began at once to
see the folly of my conduct. I went, not into the
street as I had purposed, but to the house court,
which was always a solitary place, and where I saw
my flower (that had cost me vastly more than it
was worth) hanging in the leafless tree. I stood
by the side of the canal, and looked upon the ice.
Country people went by on their skates, and I
envied them. I could see no way out of the
pickle I was in — no way so much as to return to
the room I had just left. No doubt was in my
mind but I had now betrayed the secret of my
feelings ; and to make things worse, I had shown
at the same time (and that with wretched boyish-
ness) incivility to my helpless guest.
I suppose she must have seen me from the open
window. It did not seem to me that I had stood
there very long before I heard the crunching of
footsteps on the frozen snow, and turning some-
what angrily (for I was in no spirit to be inter-
rupted) saw Catriona drawing near. She was all
changed again, to the clocked stockings.
"Are we not to have our walk to-day ? " said she.
I was looking at her in a maze. " \\'here is your
brooch ? " says I.
She carried her hand to her bosom and coloured
high. " I will have forgotten it," said she. "I will
run upstairs for it quick, and then surely we can
have our walk ? "
There was a note of pleading in that last that
staggered me ; I had neither words nor voice to
utter them ; I could do no more than nod by
way of answer ; and the moment she had left
me, climbed into the tree and recovered my flower,
which on her return I offered her.
" I bought it for you, Catriona," said I.
She fixed it in the midst of her bosom with the
brooch, I could have thought tenderly.
" It is none the better of my handling," said I
again, and blushed.
" I will be liking it none the worse, you may be
sure of that," said she.
We did not speak so much that day, she seemed
a thought on the reserve though not unkindly. As
for me, all the time of our walking, and after we
came home, and I had seen her put my flower
into a pot of water, I was thinking to myself
what puzzles women were. I was thinking, the
one moment, it was the most stupid thing on
earth she could not have perceived my love, and
the next, that she had certainly perceived it long
ago, and (being a wise girl with the fine female
instinct of propriety) concealed her knowledge.
We had our walk daily. Out in the streets I
felt more safe ; I relaxed a little in my guarded-
ness, and for one thing there was no Heineccius.
This made these periods not only a relief to
myself, but a particular pleasure to my poor child.
When I came back about the hour appointed, I
would generally find her ready dressed and glowing
with anticipation. She would prolong their dura-
tion to the extreme, seeming to dread (as I even
did myself) the hour of the return ; and there is
scarce a field or waterside near Leyden, scarce a
street or lane there, where we have not lingered.
Outside of these, I bade her confine herself en-
tirely to our lodgings ; this in the fear of her
encountering any acquaintance, which would have
rendered our position very diflicult. For the same
apprehension I would never suffer her to attend
church, nor even go myself; but made some kind
of shift to hold worship privately in her own
chamber — I hope with an honest, but I am sure
with a very much divided mind. Indeed, there
was scarce anything that more affected me, than
thus to kneel down alone with her before God like
man and wife.
One day it was snowing downright hard. I had
thought it not possible that we should venture
forth, and was surprised to find her waiting for
me ready dressed.
"I will not be doing without my walk," she
cried. " You are never a good boy, Davie, in the
house ; I will never be caring for you only in the
open air. I think we two will better turn Egypt-
ians and dwell by the roadside."
That was the best walk yet of all of them; she
clung near to me in the falling snow ; it beat about
and melted on us, and the drops stood upon her
bright cheeks like rain and ran into her smiling
mouth. Strength seemed to come upon me with
the sight like a giant's ; I thought I could have
caught her up and run with her into the uttermost
places in the earth ; and we spoke together all that
time beyond belief for freedom and sweetness.
It was the dark night when we came to the
house door. She pressed my arm upon her bosom.
" Thank you kindly for these same good hours,"'
said she, on a deep note of her voice.