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MEMOIR OF JAMES BOSWELL. 169
tioned to you that the £500 which I borrowed several years
ago and lent to a first cousin, an unfortunate India captain,
must, now be paid; £150 on the 18th of March, £150 on the
18th October, and £257 15s. 6d. on the 18th July, 1792. This
debt presses upon my mind, and it is uncertain if I shall ever
get a sliilling of it again. The clear money on which I can
reckon out of my estate is scarcely £900 a year. What can
I do ? My grave brother urges me to quit London and live
at my seat in the country, where he thinks that I might be
able to save so as gradually to relieve myself But, alas ! I
should be absolutchj miserable. In the meantime such are my
projects and sanguine expectations, that you know I purchased
an estate which was given long ago to a younger son of our
family, and came to be sold last autumn, and paid for it £2500,
£ly00 of which I borrow upon itself by a mortgage. But the
remaining £1000 I cannot conceive a possibility of raising, but
by the mode of annuity which is I believe a very heavy dis-
advantage, I own it was imprudent in me to make a clear
purchase at a time when I was sadly straitened, but if I had
missed the opportunity it never again would have occurred,
and I should have been vexed to see an ancient appanage,
a piece of, as it were, the flesh and blood of the family in the
hands of a stranger. And now that I have made the purchase
I should feel myself quite despicable should I give it
up. In this situation, then, my dear sir, would it not be
wise in me to accept 1000 guineas for my Life of Johnson,
supposing the person who made the offer should now stand to
it, which I fear may not be the case ; for two volumes may be
considered as a disadvantageous circumstance. Could I indeed
raise £1000 upon the credit of the work, I should incline to
game, as Sir Joshua says, because it may produce double the
money, though Steevens kindly teUs me that I have over printed,
and that the curiosity about Johnson is noio only in our own
circle. Pray decide for me ; and if, as I suppose, you are for
my taking the oflfer inform me with whom I am to treat.
In my present state of spirits I am all timidity. Your absence
lias been a severe shake to me. I am at present quite at a loss

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