Attempt > Volume 1 and Select writings

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THE ATTEMPT
essence divine, our wordy disquisitions do but wind around it and bide its splendour,
and cannot, being at best of the nature of veils, in any way touch the core of the mystery.
To give, with historians or biographers, instances of deeds done for friendship’s
sake, is to give the effect for the cause ; to say, with lexicographers, that friendship is
a “ mutual attachment founded on kind offices,” is to give the lowest definition ; and
perhaps there is no better expression can be given to our feeling regarding it, than that
used by one of the friends, whose names are known to history—“ Thy love to me was
wonderful; passing the love of women.”
There are those, however, who take the lexicographer’s view as being the only
one possible; who hold that disinterested friendship is a thing so rare, that it can
scarcely be said to exist; who believe that the foundation of what is usually called
friendship, must be either self-interest, the pleasure of patronage, or some other equally
ignoble motive. To these,
“ Like a man in wrath, the heart
Stands up and answers, I have felt.”
Or, perhaps, we lay aside the wrath, and substitute pity, thinking that those who
entertain no higher views than these, must either have been debarred by circum¬
stances from all power of j udging, or, far sadder reason, must, like the gambler, have
rashly risked all their wealth of trust on one hope, and having found that misplaced,
shrink back in utter poverty and bitterness of heart upon the cynic’s creed, which
places faith in no man.
For that there is such a thing on earth as pure, noble, and unselfish friendship,
there are many, very many, who can gladly bear witness : friendships in which there
is no question of merely material advantage, but in which each soul is conscious that
the welfare of the other is dearer than its own, and that no sacrifice is too great to be
made unhesitatingly for that other’s sake. “ Passionate friendships, ” St Augustine
called such, and rightly; rising to the region of passion in their abnegation of self,
their passionate earnestness, shall we add, their passionate prayerfulness.
Naturally, these are of rare occurrence; they are as the brightest jewels, the clear,
unchanging diamonds in a crown, which contains many a less dazzling gem ; for there
are comparatively few natures either capable of such feeling, or conscious of the need
which it supplies. Between women such friendships must be especially rare, both
from the lesser strength of their natures, and from the greater wear and tear to which
their weaknesses necessarily subject even those dearest to them: between man and
man they are possible, and noble; between man and woman they are still possible,
and most beautiful of all.