Attempt > Volume 1 and Select writings

THE ATTEMPT
141
The entanglements of conventionalities (culpable they have been well called" by
our sister-contributor “ des Eaux,”) have done much to wind and warp the original use
of speech, as to cringe to, fawn on, and flatter the opinions of others is considered rather
a mark of good breeding than otherwise. It is not kind flatly to contradict any one
in what they have been saying, any more than it is polite; but the social rule which
demands acquiescence to a great deal said in society is certainly a contemptible one,
which is more honoured in the breach than the observance. Instead of the smirking
commonplaces in which society so greatly delights, of how much worth is the playful
opposition, which makes a conversation a thousand times more spirited and piquant!
Such a turn to the conversation would introduce badinage, an excellent exercise
for sharpening the wits and strengthening the reasoning powers, as well as a graceful
and entertaining mode of expressing opinion. With playful wit should invariably be
repaid those glittering small coins of conversation called compliments. To the temp¬
tation of accepting them as gold, ladies are peculiarly liable; but if, like the heroine of
Queechy, they are properly jealous of these counterfeits, they will And them in reality
but pinchbeck gilded. It is wisest as well as most convenient to betake one’s self to
a fortress of badinerie, and meet the gilded arrow with a sarcastic shaft or witty sally.
Sarcasm is a capital weapon, but one Avhich requires to be wielded carefully, that it
may wound the sore spot with unerring aim, though neither too deeply nor too
slightly. A sensitive spirit will find it too sharp a mode of rebuke, upon the feelings
of a clear head it should work a complete cure, but from the mail-plated cervicle of
a Dominie Sampson or a Bully Bottom it will glance off as easily as from the hide
of a rhinoceros.
Of all the intolerable banes of conversation, that of exaggeration is the most
unendurable, comprising as it invariably does the very essence of falsehood and egotism.
Of all the variety of ways in which exaggeration shows itself, it would be hard to say
which is the most detestable; but it is certainly true that if it is abhorable in a
person called a bore by polite society, it is a great deal more reprehensible in an educated
person, whose experience might at least teach him the disadvantages of helping on his
narrative by putting it on crutches which he endeavours to conceal. That scandal
is well known as using a powerful magnifying glass when describing any field of
action, the notorious story of “ The Three Black Crows ” is ready to testify; but
I question if people have much respect to, or even at all notice, the very common
practice of extolling to the seventh heavens persons and things which after all do but
grovel on the lower earth like all that is mortal. Probably, because ladies are more
inclined to look on the bright side of things than the opposing sterner and gloomier sex,