Attempt > Volume 1 and Select writings

138
THE ATTEMPT
witli impatience the beginning of the performance, and mocking about the probable
failure of the barbarian, as they called the German.
The curtain rose. The scene was laid in an Italian town at the hour of midnight.
A German traveller was seeking in vain for admission into an hotel, for all the
inmates of it were fast asleep. He determined to wait there till morning, so he
placed himself beside a lamp-post, took a book out of his pocket, and began to read.
While he was standing there, the ghost of Cicero appeared to him. The ghost looked
over his shoulder, and made him understand by signs that he was very much
astonished, and asked him what he was doing there. The German showed him the
book, and explained to him the art of printing, by which many such books could be
produced in a very short time. “ Then,” replied the ghost at length, “ surely my
countrymen have invented this, for at the time in which I lived they were considered
the most accomplished nation in the world.” “ Oh no,” replied the German quietly,
“ the invention was that of a German.” “ Of a German 1 ” exclaimed the ghost in
surprise, “ of one of those barbarians who lived in my time in the wild forests, and
went about dressed in the skins of beasts, and had no notion whatever of either art or
science 1” “ It is even so,” replied the German. The ghost sighed, and disappeared.
Hot long after, the German finding the time tedious, drew out his watch and
looked at it. Then the ghost suddenly re-appeared, and asked the German what
that was. The German explained to him very quietly that this was a watch, by
which one ascertained the time of day, and also that one of his countrymen, who lived
in Huremberg, had invented it. “ And none of my coutrymen have invented it,”
sighed the ghost, and then suddenly disappeared.
Soon the German became impatient, and drew a pistol out of his pocket, and
calling out, “ Perhaps this will awaken some of these sleepers,” he fired it off. Then
the ghost started back, approached the German again timidly, and asked him for an
explanation about the instrument which had produced the thunder. Thereupon the
German told him about the invention of gunpowder, and explained to him the effect
of the same. “Then surely this has been invented by one of my countrymen 1” said
the ghost. “ This also,” replied the German smiling, “ is the invention of one of those
barbarians; but if you wish to know how many of your countrymen are now-a-days
employed, look here.” At these words, he drew aside a curtain, and a Savoyard
with a pair of bag-pipes came dancing in. The ghost then disappeared, as did also the
German early next morning, to avoid the revenge of his false friends.
Ho Hame.