Attempt > Volume 1 and Select writings

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THE ATTEMPT
acknowledged her surpassing loveliness, but can form no adequate idea of her gentle,
confiding, loving disposition. When I found words in which to confess my love,
imagine my happiness, in finding that the heart of Alice was my own. For a time
my bliss knew no restraints, till Alice in her own artless words told me her history,
and tears stood in her eyes as she dwelt on her mother’s death, her father’s grief, and
her own desolate condition. They formerly lived, she said, in the North of England ;
and listen, Kate, but do not hate me,” and his voice sunk to a low pleading tone, “ her
father is a Protestant clergyman ! ” He paused for a moment, as if to gather breath
to proceed, then continued, “ but he was obliged to give up his charge on account of
his health, and his physicians recommended him to come to Scotland, and they have
been here for about a year. On finishing her own history, Alice entreated me to tell her
something of myself, and can I ever forget the expression of grief, nay, almost of
abhorrence which passed across her face, when I avowed myself a Eoman Catholic!
But it instantly changed to smiles when she saw it grieved me, and gently she
murmured, ‘ Dearest Charles, you cannot, you must not believe in that dreadful religion.’
She then dwelt eloquently and feelingly on tbie doctrines of her faith, and for the first
time I saw the simplicity and truth of the Protestant religion, though not yet
converted. I did not see Alice for a week after, as she was closely confined to her
father’s room, he being at that time very ill, and my own mind was so shaken and
distressed, that I could not bear to grieve her with my doubts. During that time,
however, I had read and thought much upon the doctrines of both faiths, and when
I next saw my Alice, I was a Protestant. I have longed for and yet dreaded this
interview, dear sister, for I now see the utter falsity and absurdity of your faith, and
would have you turn and believe in mine. Nay, then I’ll go on with my story, for
the haughty curl of your lip says, 1 Am I to forsake the creed of my fathers for the
rantings of a love-sick boy V But love has not blinded me, reason and truth have
convinced me. After declaring myself a Protestant, no obstacle prevented us from
telling Mr Howard of our engagement, and the poor man, lying now as we fear on a
dying bed, sanctioned our betrothal, blessing God for raising up a protector to his
unprotected child. He does not know that I am the heir of a proud and bigoted
Eoman Catholic, who would spurn his cherished child from his door, as I only told
him that I was possessed of a small independence (which you know at my majority I
shall inherit from my mother). I did not name you to them either, so both Alice and
her father suppose me to be without near friends. And now, Kate, that you have
patiently heard me out, I have but to ask of you to keep my secret till the expiry of
my minority, when I can boldly avow my change of creed, and my unalterable attach-