Attempt > Volume 1 and Select writings

114
THE ATTEMPT
us through those temptations which prove snares to so many of us. We have heard
it wished, and have joined in the wish, that there might be a Bible, or a few additional
chapters at least, telling us exactly what to do as regards those culpable conventionalities
which are continually assailing us, and tempting us to escape from some little dilemma
by a slight prevarication. But a moment’s thought showed us that every difficulty
into which we can fall has been amply provided for, and that we must hold fast to the
truth as much in the small conventionality as in what seem to us more heinous crimes.
We only wish to mention here one or two seemingly very small temptations, but
which are often more successful stumbling-blocks in our way than those of greater
magnitude. Some of us, when invited to an evening party to which we do not wish
to go, send back to the inviter a neat little note excusing ourselves on the plea of a
previous engagement, knowing all the time that no such engagement exists. How we
excuse ourselves to our consciences, or ever respect ourselves again, we know not.
Would it not have done, to have merely expressed in general terms our regret (such as
we all feel in not complying with the wishes of others) that we could not accept their
kind invitation ?
There is a temptation which can only be felt by young ladies, at which other
people may be inclined to smile, but it fs a temptation, and comes naturally among
our culpable conventionalities. It is this—when at a ball, or any place where dancing
is the amusement, we must all have felt the annoyance of being asked to dance by
some one to whom we feel great indifference or even aversion. But oh, let us never
be tempted to say that our card of engagements is filled, when we know that we have
still several disengaged dances. We may gloss it over to our consciences by saying
that it is only said to save the feelings of our would-be partner; but much better it
would be to say quietly that we would rather not, or, better still, to sacrifice our own
wishes, and for one short quarter of an hour to devote ourselves, for the sake of another,
to what we cannot but feel to be tiresome. Those who make such false excuses, harm
not only themselves by their want of truth, but cast a shadow of untruthfulness over
all young ladies which is unpardonable. This reason alone should be sufficient to
prevent our saying such things, for already society is too ready to class us all together,
and say, “ Oh young ladies always say this or do that,” taking all individuality from
us, and unfortunately taking for their type not the best of us. But it is well for us to
have a higher reason for observing truth in everything than this esprit de corps, one
which having its root in principle, will be less likely to fail us in the moment of need.
There are, of course, many other conventionalities which will suggest themselves
readily to our minds, if we think on the subject, and it is a subject which merits our