Attempt > Volume 3

17G * THE ATTEMPT.
declined to tuck up, and which trailed the balls out of their positions in the most
disgraceful manner. She played with one hand (with a tight glove upon it), and
held up a pai-asol with the other. Her style of play was feeble to imbecility, indeed,
I don't think she could have sent a ball ten yards to save her life ; and she never, by
any chance, remembered when it was her turn to i^lay, a peculiarity shared by all
the other players, except myself and little Red, who ran about till we were utterly
exhausted, and shouted till we were hoai-se, in trying to bring our partners up to
time. Pink was Blue's sister, and played much in the same style; she had also a
curious habit of pushing about her ball when nobody was looking, which, on some
Croquet grounds, would have been called cheating, but which we politely attributed
to forgetfulness. Black was owned by a gentleman who had never had a mallet in
his hands before, but who showed an amount of intelligence and interest in the
game, which made up for his shortcomings in the way of play; and, although, like
the others, he never could remember his turn, yet he was always at his post, and al¬
ways knew what hoop he was going to. Yellow was a gentleman said to be very
learned: he had long hair, was dressed like an old clothesman, and remained during
nearly the whole game in a state of profound mental abstraction, leaning against a
tree ; and when, by dint of shouting, and even shaking, he was made aware that it
was his turn to play, he would rush at his ball, and play on till he was stopped,
quite regardless whether he hit or missed. Brown was a thing to whom I may
apply Portia's criticism upon one of her suitors—" God made him, and therefore let
him pass for a man." He was the most execrable player I ever saw ; he shoved, he
spooned, he cheated ; he was constantly getting in the way, and stopping balls ; he
committed every possible enormity, and, worst of all, he didn't care. Orange was a
young lady, of whom I need only say, that she was the most inveterate shover I ever
beheld; I, myself, was green, and the little boy was red.
The progress of the game was considerably retarded by the extraordinary diffi¬
culty which several of the players experienced in effecting a start; but this was at
last overcome, and all eight balls launched on their perilous voyage. I soon found,
that however aggravating Blue might be, Brown was infinitely worse, indeed, at a
very early stage in the game, I felt inclined to give him up as hopeless ; besides, he
coidd not, like Black and Yellow, plead the excuse of total inexperience, nor did he
once in the whole game show the slightest particle of contrition for his faults, or of
a desire to do better. I tried every means I could think of to rouse him to a sense
of his deficiencies; I stamjjed my feet at him; I shook my mallet at him ; I held
him up to the derision of the company under the sobriquet of " That wretched