Broadside entitled 'Court Circular, From the Penny Satirist'

Transcription

Court Circular,

FROM THE PENNY SATIRIST.

" What's your opinion of the Corn Laws, Albert?"
said the Queen,   to her spouse; "you ought to be a
counseller to me, in governing the affairs of this mighty
Empire-"    " Vy." said   the emasculated   helpmate   to
Royalty. " before I vass a farmer, I lot dat der sheep
corn   vas best for mein orses    Putt now, ven I is a
farmer, I bekinn to zee   dat der dear corn is pest for
dee country ! '   " Then, your sentiments have under-
gone a change, since you began the farming business?''
"Oh !   ver mootch, I   sees it in a total tifferent light,
now?I tink dat doe farmers require protection to keep
up der price?and   de   landlord   require protection, to
keep up dee rent ?it am mootch better   to   pay teer for
a pushell of corn for dee orses, dan sell a quarter of corn
sheep for dee people, eh ? dat's it ! eh? oh ! I sees it !
ha ! ha !"    " So do I'' said the Queen, " I sees it too?-
as you call it    You're a regular sham, Albert.    Graham,
and Stanley, and butter-mouthed Peel, have been giving
you lessons in Conservative arithmetic;?and now, that
you have turned corn dealer, and potatoe grower, and
ox feeder, I fear you will become a truckster ere long,
and bring disgrace upon the. crown."    " No, mein deer,"
said Albert affectionately ; " it am all for dee gootof dee
country?dis plissed country, which is risen to dee sum-
mit of prosperity by deer corn, vhen all odder countries
am fallen down vith deer sheep.    Look at my poor tear
Shermany?peef Sd. a pound, mouton 2½d a pound?so
sheep ! and yet so ferry poor, dat all dee Shermans dat
can affort to travel, or find an opportunity to steal der
woy, come over to England, kett money, ko pack, and
liqe vell, and sheep ! eh?    Der am alvays most monies
vere tings are dear?and oh," clasping his hands, and
elevating one eye to beauen, and ogling the Queen with
the other; "tings am tear in England; had I married
a Sherman vife, I should has tied vith melancholy and
fixation.'    "Ah!" said the Queen, " that's what we call
'soap' in England.    But, as for the fixation. I suspect
that you are in as fast a   fix' here as you could be any
where else;   and that no vice in Germany could hold
you faster.    It is a queer way of making a husband vir-
tuous, to put him in a vice?but it is the surest; for, as.
nothing but vice will hold men, it is a woman's duty to
select the strongest and the best for the partner of her
fortune, to prevent his being entrapped by others that
are worse "    " Vell," said Albert. sighing, and looking
woefully at his vice-eaus partner.    The Queen returned
the gaze ; and the two stand silently vis-a-vis (vice-a-vic)
divining each other.    "A penny for your thoughts," said
her Majesty, after a, short interval.    " Fatt ?" said Al-
bert,   " mine for yours's;   dat's barter, or Royal Ex-
change, eh ?"    " I set a higher value upon mine than to
dispose of them at so low a rate "    " Fatt would you
ask for dem, eh?" said the anxious husband.    " What
would you give?" said the wife.    " Mein art'' said Al-
bert.    " I have too much of that already," said the
Queen.    " Fatt ?"   said Albert, drawing himself up-
arms a-kimbo.    Her   Majesty mimics him with com-
pressed lips and determined   look.    His Matrimonial
Majesty turns round, and is about to retire, when his
royal partner gives him a hand-some present of a box
between the shoulders, reminding him of his rudeness
in   turning   his back upon Majesty.    His Connubial
Majesty therefore turns his countenance Queen-ward,
and bowing, and scraping, backs out?the Queen curt-
seying with extreme politeness.

[Behind the scenes.    A squall from the nursery.]

Sanderson, Printer. High Streets Edinburgh.

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