Broadside regarding a proposed new Act of Parliament

Transcription

A PROPOSED

NEW ACT OF PARLIAMENT

FOR THE BENEFIT OF

Young   Men, Old   Men,    Wives, Old
Maids, Bachelors, Widows, &c.

At a Meeting of several Ladies and Gentlemen of this Town,
held for the better Management and conducting Order and
Regularity in Society, Mr Steady in the Chair, the following
Resolutions were passed :?

RESOLVED, 1st ?That no lady shall wear a bonnet more
than one yard round, and no more than two be allowed to walk
arm in arm together, so that they may not obstruct the way, and
prevent persons being turned off the pavement by the said bonnets
under the penalty of five pounds.

2.?That any lady not paying the above penalty when call-
ed upon, or should any gentleman be blown into the gutter, by
the wind of her bonnet, she shall be sent to the tread-mill for
three calendar months, and to fan the mill round with bonnets.

3.?-That no warehouse clerk, counter hopper, chimney sweep,
journeyman, apprentice, or dandy, shall smoke a cigar in the
street before six o'clock in the morning, or after ten in the even-
ing : for every such offence, to grind logwood on the tread-mill
for three months.

4.?That every working man shall be at liberty to smoke on
his way home, after work in the evening, providing he puffs no
one's eyes out.

5.?That no old maid, wife, or widow woman, shall take more
than a pound of snuff in one week, and not to take more than one
pinch during hours of cooking, for fear of dropping it from their
nose into the gravey, under the penalty of not having another
pinch for one month.

6?That any man shall be at liberty to beat his wife, pro-
vided she deserves it, with any weapon not smaller than a broom-
stick, nor softer than a kitchen poker, provided he does not com-
mit murder, but break as many bones as he pleases. Any woman
not liking this treatment, shall be at liberty to leave her husband,
by articles of agreement, drawn up and signed in the presence
of the next door neighbour, she taking the children and goods;
and further, that she shall also take with her two black eyes, if
her husband thinks her deserving of the same.

7.?That any washer-woman, or any woman going out to
daily work, shall keep one-half of her earnings, and the other
half shall be given to her lord and master, for drinking money.

8.?That any man coming home drunk, shall be carefully put
to bed by his wife, she being at liberty to pick his pocket, and
have a noggin of gin for her trouble.

9.?That a man and his wife must not get drunk at one time,
for fear of fire, as two drunken people in one house is contrary
to the act.

10.?That every bachelor, at the age of forty, be compelled
to keep two wives, to make up for lost time; in neglecting so to
do, he shall pay a fine of £5, to the poorest couple in the parish.

11?That no old maid be permitted to keep more than one
dozen of lap-dogs, cats, or parrots, to the annoyance of the neigh-
bourhood, but to use every lawful means to procure a husband,
but if she can prove to the satisfaction of the court, that she has
done so without success, then the court shall be bound to provide
her a sleeping partner during the cold nights of Winter.

12.?That no married woman shall lie snoring in her bed
after seven o'clock in the morning, with the fire out, and the
breakfast not ready, under the penalty of being tied to her bed
for a fortnight

13.?Any man marrying a woman, and not being able to
accomplish the duties of matrimony, the wife shall be empowered
to employ a journeyman, the husband presuming to grumble,
shall be dipped three times a day, in a horse pond, till his wife
prove in the family way.

Price,   ONE PENNY.                                  John Elder, Printer, Edinburgh.

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