Broadside concerning a ludicrous wedding in Crosscauseway, Edinburgh

Transcription

A Full and Particular Account of that Funny and
Laughable WEDDING that took place in Cross-
causeway, Edinburgh, on Tuesday Evening, the
15th March 1825, between a young Dashing High-
land Lad, and a well known Old Lady of that place.

THE following ludicrous circumstance excited an extraordinary
sensation in the Crosscauseway and neighbourhood, on Tues-
day evening, the 15th March instant.    It appears that a young,
blooming, good looking lad, of the name of M' L?, a watchman,
of very captivating exterior, had, for a considerable period previous,
paid his addresses to a well known old Lady, a purifier of tripe, re-
siding in that place, (better known by another appellation, H??
M??,) who at length yielded to his ardent and pressing suit, and
Tuesday was mutually fixed on for the celebration of their nuptials.

The fair enamorate, in order, as it would seem, to ingratiate her-
self the more deeply into the good graces and favour of her future
Lord, impressed Twenty-five Sovereigns into his hands, in order,
she said, to make him appear very genteel on the occasion, and par-
ticularly to provide him with a new watch; a necessary appendage,
of course, to a gentleman. She also undertook to furnish a most
splendid marriage banquet, which was accordingly ordered, and to
which a great number of the friends, relations and acquaintances of
both parties were formally invited.

Accordingly, at the appointed hour, the company assembled, in
their gayest apparel, among whom were a great many Knights of
the baton, in fine trim. The modest blooming bride appeared
among the astonished natives, dressed in eastern splendour and
magnificence, the very silk gown worn by her on this happy occa-
ston, like the Laird of Dumbiedykes' mother's gowns, would stand
its lane on the floor, it was so rich, and the other parts of her costly
dress corresponded with the gown. She continued to grace the
happy assemblage with her presence, for a considerable time after
the hour appointed, smiling sweetly to some, and courtseying mo-
destly to others, in great good humour ; but of course, anxiously ex-
pecting the arrival of her happy lover, to crown her ardent wishes at
the hymeneal altar.

The clergyman having arrived about this time, to which the now
most anxious and impatient bride was introduced, but there was
still no word of Mr M'L?. The minister sat down beside the
bride, who encouraged her to hope, that her beloved partner would
soon make his appearance, and ease all her anxious doubts and fears,
which now became evident to the whole company. With some
pleasant chat, and the assistance of an occasional cordial glass now
and then, the reverend gentleman managed to prolong the pleasing
hopes of the arrival of the long expected bridegroom for several
hours after the time previously appointed ; but it was now become
pretty evident that Mr M'L------did not intend to make his appear-
ance at all; for he fairly absconded, as appeared from the following
laconic epistle, which was just handed to the despairing fair one.

Dear loveing beauty I do find,
My self to wedlock not inclin'd,
It is a thing so common.               
But for your sake a vow I'll make,   
To marry with no woman.            
It appeared that Mr M'L------had adopted the notion, that he
Your gold I'll spend,
With my true friend,
And drink your health so free,
So don't perplex, or yourself vex,
Farewell ! remember me !J.M'L.

would exhibit his finery to much more advantage upon the Highland
hills, than on the streets of auld Reekie.

The chagrin of the disappointed bride was now awful in the ex-
treme, but she could not still help but to encourage the pleasing hope,
that the bewitched enchanting man would not deceive her yet. It
turned out otherwise, however; and the old lady fell into an awful
hysterical fit, from which a glass of good brandy was scarcely able
to recover her.    At last, finding herself really abandoned, and that
she could not better herself, she allowed herself to be put into good
spirits again, by repeated applications of strong water.    At her sug-
gestion, the party partook of their elegant and sumptuous supper,
consisting of every delicacy of the season, and the good old Lady
comforted herself for the loss of her false admirer, by repeated and
potent doses of Uisgebetha, mollified with hot water and sugar.
After supper, the catgut-scraper struck up a merry lilt, and they con-
tinued to trip it on the light fantastic toe till five o'clock in the
morning, when the bride went home, and had to go to bed again
   alone, which she reluctantly did, but still hoping that Mr M'L

    -----would yet relent, and speedly return to the fond and   longing

   embraces of his dearly beloved M?                              

Printed for A. TURNBULL... Price One Penny.         

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