Broadside entitled 'Supposed Murder'

Transcription

Supposed Murder.

Account of that Horrid and Barbarous Murder, which a Baker
supposed he had committed on the body of his Wife in Glas.
gow, on Tuesday last, the 13th March, 1827, and for which
he has undergone a public investigation*

       It happened lately that a certain baker in the city?whether ocnstitutionaily irrit-
able, or only temporarily so, owing to the present provoking cheapness of the " staff
of life," we cannot tell, but so is the fact, as we hare heard-on receiving some
slight provocation from his wife, determined to knead the soft dough of her breasts
and sides, so as to make her better bred in all time coming.    Dire were the blows-
deep were the groans which were heard over-night by the neighbours?and the
death-like silence which ensued, made some of them surmise that probably the va-
lorous baker had. rather OVERDONE the thing, and that an Assize would have to be
held upon his work of that night.    They, therefore, quietly took measures to ascer-
tain the true state of matters?and, peeping through the back window, they happily
discovered the baker snoring in the arms of Morpheus, and his unfortunate help-
rate, with a brace of black eyes, busily preparing the breakfast of the barbarian,
A wag amongst them, observing that things were not so bad as was seared, deter.
mined on a practical joke, which should have the effect, at least, of frightening the
baker when he awoke, and, perhaps, of making him curb his wicked and danger-
us passions in future-    Accordingly he procured a black STRAIGHTING BOARD, and
gently lifting the window, introduced it into the room, and left the grim coneom-
itant of death in such a situation, as to be full in view of the baker when he should
open his eyes!    By and by, the drowsy god winged his flight, and, favouring the
joke, gave the baker no intimation of the Well-meant trick which was proposed for
him.    But rich was the treat, exquisite the enjoyment, when the waiting eyes of the
lurking spectators without beheld the man of ftour suddenly start up, rub his eyes.
and in a frantic manner jump out of bed, exclaiming?" My Mary !?my Mary !!-
have I murdered my Mary !!!"?-Mary, who was in the kitchen, and had not been
in the bed-room since the introduction of the straighting-board, was, in her turn,
equally alarmed for the wits of her savage lord, as he was for UER life, and rushed
pale and trembling, in her white night-gown, into his presence, and there stood like
very GHOsT !    To end the tale, the baker, with some difficulty, was convinced that
the apparition before him was the real CORPORATION, and not the SPIRIT of his mur-
dered wife.    She, with the usual gentleness of her sex, freely forgave him, upon
his promising to be a good boy for the future?and we hope they have since been,
and will continue to be, happy.    Be this as it may, however, a report of murdor
against the baker spread thro' the city for two days, but we are happy to announce
that the particulars here detailed, form " the head and front of his offending?-no
more"?Copied from the Free Press of l7th March, 1827.

SINGULAR OCCURRECNCE.?A very hovel, but outrageously indecent occurrence
took place on Thursday in the streets of Calton. A destitute young man, an Irish-
man, died there on Monday, and an uncle offered the use of his parlour for the
reception of the company who-should attend on his funeral obsequies. A coffin
was provided, and 12s. 6d. collected to defray expenses ; but when the people met,
the uncle was drunk, and would not permit the body to be removed. Some present.
thought it incumbent on them to insist upon the corpse being delivered up, and ac-
tordingly took it by force. The infuriated uncle raised a great disturbance, and
followed the procession, pelting them with stones. Those who carried the coffin
were worst off, and were obliged to run. This gave fresh courage to the barbarous
pursuer, who .chased them through several ssreets, swearing and crying in a most
appalling manner. The crowd raised on the occasion was immense. At length.
Sergent Leckie appeared, who took the fellow into custody, and the body was put
into the grave, without further interruption The object of the wretch appeared
from the answer which he gave the officer to a question which he put to him on the
way to the office, if he intended to sell the body to the Anatomists? When he re-
plied, "' Have I, not a right to make as much of it as I can ?" He was ordered
to pay a severe fine, on pain of being sent to Bridewell.

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