Broadside publication of a 'New Intended Act of Parliament'

Transcription

IV.

W. R.

The New intended Act of

Parliament,

For the Benefit of Young Men, Old Men, Wives, Old Maids,
Batchelors, Widows, &c.

AT a Meeting of several Ladies and Gentlemen of this Town, held for the
better management and conducting of order and regularity of Society,
Mr Steady in the chair, the following Resolutions were passed :?

Resolved, 1st. That no Lady shall wear a bonnet more than one yard long ;
and no more than two to be allowed to walk arm and arm together, so that they
may net obstruct the way, and to prevent persons being fanned off the pavement
by the said bonnets, under a penalty of five pounds.

2d. That any Lady not paying the above penalty, when called on, or should
any Gentleman be blown into the gutter by the wind of her bonnet, she shall
be sent to the Treadmill for three kalender months, and to fan the mill round
with bonnets.

3d. That no Warehouse Clerk, Counter-hopper, Chimney-sweeper, Journey-
man, Apprentice, or Dandy, shall smoke a cigar in the street before six o'clock
in the morning, or after ten in the evening; for every such offence to grind
logwood with their teeth for three months.

4th. That every working man shall be at liberty to smoke on his way home
in the evening, provided he puffs no one's eyes out.

5th. That no Old Maid, Wife, or Married woman, shall take more than one
pound of snuff in a week, and not take more than one pinch during hours of
cooking, for fear of dropping it from their nose into the gravy, under the penalty
of not having another pinch for one month.

6th. That any man shall be at liberty to beat his wife, provided she deserves
it, with any weapon not heavier than a broomstick, nor softer than a kitchen,
clout, so as he does not commit murder, but break as many tea-pots and butter-
plates as he pleases. Any woman not liking such treatment, shall be at liberty
to leave her husband, by articles of agreement drawn up and signed in the pre-
sence of their next door neighbour, she taking the children and he the goods ;
and farther, that she shall also take with her a tea-pot and some tea utensils, as
her husband thinks meet and proper.

7th. That any Washer-woman, or any woman going out to daily work, shall
be allowed to keep one half of her earnings, and the other half shall be given to
her lord and master for drinking money.

8th. That any man coming home drunk, shall be carefully put to bed by his
wife, she being at liberty to piek his pockets, to prevent him from drinking the
next day, and have a gill of whisky for her trouble.

9th. That a man and his wife must not get drunk at one time, for fear of fire ;
two drunken people in one house is contrary to the act.

10th. That every bachelor, at the age of forty, be compelled to keep two
wives, to make up for lost time ; in neglecting so to do, he shall pay a fine of
five pounds....to go to the poorest couple in the parish in which he lives.

11th. That no old maid be permitted to keep a lap-dog, parrot, or cat, but to
marry a smart young man to keep her back warm on a cold winter's, night.

12th. That no married woman be allowed to lie snoring and sleeping after
eight o'clock in the morning, with the fire out and the breakfast not ready,
under the penalty of being tied to her bed for a fortnight.

13th. That no woman shall hiddenly feed herself and starve her husband,
under the penalty of being fed on bark brose.

14th, That no woman be allowed to rob her husband, either in shop or
house, for the purpose of buying Leghorn bonnets, silk |gowns, flannel petti-
coats, and silk stockings, while their husbands are kept like beggars, under the
penalty of being clad with hand-me-downs.

15th. That no man or woman be allowed to smoke above five times a day,
under a penalty of being put up the vent and smoked with brimstone.

Conform to the laws and daily practice of Scotland, used and observed in the
like cases, in all points, as is alleged.....OUR WILL IS HEREFORE, &c.

PRICE ONE PENNY.

previous