The Husband's Commandments.
1. I am thy husband; thou shalt have no other husband but me,
whom thou didst vow to love, honour, and obey; for I saved thee from
old-maidenism, and rescued thee from the terror of single blessedness.
2. Thou shalt not look upon any other man, to love or to admire
him, for I thy husband, am a jealous husband, who will visit the sins
of the wife upon her followers; therefore, keep thou faithfully to thy
3. Thou shalt not backbite thy husband, nor speak lightly of him,
neither shald thou expose his faults to thy neighbour, lest he should
hear of it and punish thy perfidy by a deprivation of sundry items,
such as bonnets, dresses, &c.
4. Remember the seventh day to keep it free from all unnecessary
labour; for there are six days in which to do thy work. Thou shalt
have thy house otean and tidy by four o'clock on Saturday afternoon;
and there shall be no washing of children or baking after that hour.
Thou shalt do thy marketing alone, lest in the company of other women
thou buyest ribbons for thyself, instead of cigars for thy husband.
5. Honour thy husband's father and mother; and let not thy thoughts
wander selfishly towards their cupboard and pockets while so doing.
6. Thou shalt not box thy children's ears, nor thump them for
plundering the sugar-pot, or running away with the pastry or jam;
for an hungry stomach knows no law save cut and run.
7. Thou shalt not listen to flattery, nor accept gifts or trinkets
from any man save thy husband, who esteemest woman's purity her
8. Thou shalt not rifle thy husband's pockets for coppers when he
is asleep; neither shalt thou read any letters thou mayst find, therein;
for it is his business to look after his own affairs, and thy business to
let his alone?ask no questions, but believe.
9. Thou shalt conceal nothing from thy husband; always speak the
truth, and make no false representation of the state of thy pantry
and purse, for thy husband abhorreth petty larceny in the domestic
departmemt; which shall be punished by closing the exchequer, till
such financial frauds are abolished.
10. Look for no jewellery from thy husband on the anniversary of
thy wedding, for it is written, " Blessed are thy which expect nothing,
for they shall not be disappointed."
L. Macartney, The Poet's Box, 184 Overgate, Dundee.
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