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Broadside ballad entitled 'Cats' Eyes'




Copies of this humourous song can only be had in the Poet's Box

Air-The Night before Larry was Stretch'd.

Come listen to me while I sing,
Of misery I've had my share;
Till fortune took me under her wing,
And my troubles all vanished like air.
In the days of my youth I did wed,
And our time passed with joy and delight,
Till my wife round the house should be led,
She got so shocking bad with her sight.

You may guess how my mind was at ease;
I became a poor object of pity;
As my presence at home wouldn't please,
I'd go rambling about through the city.
One day a large placard I spied,
And in letters black, blue, and white,
It said " Doctor Snigum's arrived,
And will cure any one with bad sight."

I was home in the wink of an eye,
The good news to my wife I unfolded,
With joy she was ready to die,-
She was sorry that ever she scolded.
In my hurry, instead of her cloak,
The old blanket I wrapped round her tight,
Bore her off on my back-what a joke!
While the people all laughed at the sight.

This house was 19, College-green,
We arrived, and I knocked at the door,
And said, when the doctor I'd seen,
" This old Rat-trap I want you to cure."
He brought us up stairs in a trice,
And pulled out his utensils so bright,
On a saucer he shoved out her eyes,
And set-to to polish her sight.

He made them shine like a new pin,
On a table he left them behind her;
But the Doctor's big cat just came in,
Sure the Doctor nor I didn't mind her.
The cat's feed being generally there,
She ate up the two eyes at a bite;
We leapt after her down every stair,
But OLD SCRATCH took her out of sight.

We searched every corner and hole,                     
From the garret all down to the cellar,                  
There we BONED her on top of the coal,                           
And the doctor caught hold of her smeller.
The cat's eyes he brought up to my wife,
And popped them into her head tight,
She declared in the course of her life
She had never such beautiful sight.

Coming home we both got a small drop.
To congratulate her and myself,
Then we stopped at a large china-shop
To look at some new fashioned delph-
A buck tabby was inside the sash,
When my wife raised a hump to show fight,
She MOLL-ROWED and went through with a smash,
For you know she had got the cat's sight.

A-97, had her caught,
But he went by his worship's advice-
To the mad-house he made her be brought,
She amused herself there catching mice.
One day in her window she sat,
About four or five stories in height,
She leaped down at a flaming big rat,
And was killed-so I grinned at the sight;

Saturday Morning, August 28, 1858.

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Date of publication: 1858   shelfmark: L.C.1269(170b)
Broadside ballad entitled 'Cats' Eyes'
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