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Broadside ballad entitled 'The Battle of the Kitchen Furniture'


The Battle of

The Kitchen Furniture.


Copies of this extremely popular song can only be had
n the POET'S Box,

The MS. of this song was kindly handed to the Poet by
Mr Thomas Gallacher.


This battle was fought not long ago,
Being in the kitchen there below-
To tell yon the truth how came the fray,
The broom stood in the dishcloth's way.

The dishcloth said, "It was not fair,"

And told the broom " Not to stand there ;"

The broom made answer very smart,

" I'll fight you or any one that takes your part."

The tongs being by the fireside,

Stood up on his long legs,

Saying, " I'll fight the spit, that long-backed thief,

Although his work is roasting beef."

And the dripping pan, that interloper,

" I'm here to your back," says the kitchen poker,

"Ready for to revenge our wrong

I'll fight or lose my life for the tongs."

When the fire-shovel heard the noise

Be bounced forward, and said, " W hat's the matter, my

boys ?

I'll take the tongs and poker's part,
For they work with me about the hearth."

And the flesh-fork then came in so bright,
Me jumped into the middle of the fight
And at the fire shovel he made a stob,
And knocked his body against the hob.

When he received this mortal wound,
He lay quite flat down on the ground,
Crying out, " I fear my back is broke,
I never will fight another stroke."

The coal-box next came in so stout,
And gave the flesh-fork an awful clout,
Crying," You babbling thief, I'll be your end,
For I fear you've killed my only friend".

The kettle says, '' I have no call,
For I don't belong to the kitchen at all-
I'm in my parlour night and day,
You dirty set new fight away.

The frying pan next came tumbling down,
And like an officer he marched all round-
He met with the broom and he gave it a thrust.
" Faith, it was you who began the battle first."

Next morning, by the dawn of the day,
The broom and dishclout worked away-
Clear up the kitchen as you have done before,
And never dispute any mere.


The weeping willer
Riding in a railroad keer
Sweet spirit hear my prayer
Murrough O'Monaghan
Polly Perkins
Out on the spree
Happy as a king
Come into the garden, Maud

Married on a Wednesdee
Water cresses
Daniel versus Dishclout
British ragged schools
The blockade runner
I don't care
Hop lete loo
Rocky road to Dublin

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Probable period of publication: 1870-1890   shelfmark: L.C.1269(161a)
Broadside ballad entitled 'The Battle of the Kitchen Furniture'
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