A Curious and Entertaining Account of the
NEW YEAR'S DAY
In Auld Reekie, shewing how Blythesome aud Hearty the Public-House Wife's are,What
Droll Scenes passes between the Lads and Lassies in the Morning, when away First-Footing
and what Fun and Merriness they have Dancing Tullochgorum when getting tipsey,__Also,
Paddy O' Conner's Curious and Laughable Petition to be an Excisemen.
Now mirk December's dowie face,
Glowrs owre the rigs wi' sour grimace,
While, through his minimum o' space,
The bleer-ee'd sun,
Wi' blinkin' light, and stealing pace,
His race doth run.
Frae naked groves nae birdie sings,
To shepherd's pipe nae hillock rings,
The breeze nae od'rous flavour brings
Frae Borean cave,
And dwynin' nature droops her wings,
Wi' vissage grave.
Mankind but scanty pleasure gleen
Frae snawy hill or barren plain,
Whan Winter 'midst his nipping train,
Wi' frozen spear,
Sends drift owre a' his bleak domain,
And guides the weir.
Auld Reikie ! thou'rt the canty hole,
A bield for mony a cauldrift soul,
Wha snuggly at thine ingle loll,
Baith warm and couth ;
While round they gar the bicker roll,
To weet their mouth.
Whan merry Yule days comes, I trow
You'll scantlins find a hungry mou' ;
Sma' are our cares, our stamacks fou
O' gusty geer,
And kickshaws, strangers to our view
Sin fairn year.
Ye browster wives, now busk ye braw,
And fling your sorrows far awa' ;
Then come and gie's the tither blaw
O' reaming ale,
Mare precious than the well o' Spa,
Our hearts to heal.
Then, though at odds wi' a' the warl,
Amang oursels we'll never quarell;
Though Discord gie a canker'd snarl
To spoil our glee,
As langs there's pith into the barrel,
We'll drink and 'gree.
Fidlers, your pins in temper fix,
And roset weel your fiddle-sticks ,
But banish vile Italian tricks
Frae out your quorum,
Nor fortes wi' pianos mix,
Gie s Tullochgorum
For nought can cheer the heart sae weel
As can a canty Highland reel ;
It even vivifies the heel
To skip and dance :
Lifeless is he wha canna feel
Let mirt abound, let social cheer
Invest the dawning of the year,
Let blythsome innocence appear
To crown our joy,
Nor envy, wi' sarcastic sneer,
Our bliss destroy.
And thou, great god of Aqua vit? !
Wha sways the empire o' this city.
When fou we're sometimes capernoity,
Be on the catch
To hedge us frae that black banditti,
Paddy's Humble Petition for the Excise.
WISHING to be appointed Inspector, Over tooker, vulgarly called Exciseman, for the County
of [ ] own self, my dear Jewel, in the Kingdom of Ireland. And whereas I your aforesaid
Petitioner. I will come and go,[ ] and send and fetch, and carry and [ ]
and more then all, and every thing, and noting at all, at all, of all such Goods and Commo-
dities, as may be, and cannot be, to pay Duty. And whereas I your aforesaid Petitioner, I will
at all times, and times past, be present, and be absent, he backward, and be forward, be behind,
and be before, be here, and be there, and be no where, at all, at all, And I your aforesaid Pe-
titioner, will not cheat the King, more the what is now, and at all times lawfully practised :
I your aforesaid Petitioner, am a Gentleman of Reputation, an Irish Protestant, by Shaint Patrick
so I am, I love the King, and I value him, and I will fight for him, and against him, and run
for him, and from him, and after him, and behind him, and before him, and the one side, and
the tother side of him, to serve him, or any of his Relations or Acquaintance, as far, and as much,
further, as lies in my power, dead, or alive, as long as I live, and longer too. Witness my own
my Several and separate hand in conjunctions one and all three of us, both together.
PRICE ONE PENNY. Signed PATRICK O'CONNER, upon my Honour.
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