This is to acquaint the P U B L I C,
That lately arrived in this Town from BEVERLEY,
The very celebrated Dr. Puff Stuff Sham Quirko Ye - Trick,
PHYSICIAN to the sole Governor of the Earth, the most Magnanimous
and Puissant Chou Khan, Emperor of China; Professor of Magic,
Physic, Surgery, and Anatomy,in the University of Pekin; Occulist
and Dentist to all the Monarchs of the East; Man-Midwife to the
Empress Pinka Panka; and Menber of every Medical Society through-
out the vast Empires of China Persia, Turkey,, and Indostan.
THE Doctor having enjoyed these ngh honours in his native country, and being
chief Favourite and Counsellor to the Emperor, was converted to Christianity by a
learned Missionary, and obliged to make his escape in an open boat, in which, after a
long and perilous voyage, he arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, from whence he took
shipping for England.
This may be considered as the most fortunate event that ever happened to the inhabi-
tants of Europe, as the Doctor has brought with him the following inestimable secrets :
First The most surprising balsam, called Paramandelang Rattskiammum, brought
from Whangwagngang, situated thirty degrees beyond the South Pole, which only be-
ing rubbed on the gums for five minutes, will cause an entire new set of teeth to sprout
up instantly, to the amazement of all the beholders. The Doctor has invented a ma-
chine, by which he can extract the old sett in the tenth part of a moment, without the
patient feeling him.
Secondly, He performs the most astonishing operations upon the eyes, and has a cer-
tificate under the hand and seal of his Siamese Majesty who having loft his fight by the
formation of cataracts in each eye, sent an embassy to China, requesting the Emperor's
permission for the Doctor to visit him at Siam. On his arrival, he, with skill unpa-
a particular glutinous application, he dextrously inserted a pair of eyes taken out of the
head of a living lion, by which means not only his Majesty's vision is perfectly restored,
but he has acquired such a ferocity of countenance, as makes him terrible to all his enemies.
Thirdly, The illustrious ointment called Syang Yang Ching Quey Tschenmencow
(prepared from the marrow of the humning-birds, and invented by Li Laokum, who
lived five thousand years before the date, of the Mosaic creation, and from whom the
Doctor is descended in a right line) this ontment being applied to the stump of a leg or
arm which,has been cut off, will immeciately cause a regeneration of the parts which
have been destroyed, so that the patient shall in five days have as perfect a foot or hand
as he had before the operation.
Fourthly, That restorative root which. contributes so greatly to the population of the
Chinese empire, in so much that by the constant use of it the Empress Purka Panka,
though in her eightieth year, continued to bring forth children when the Doctor left
China, and, in the last labour in which he attended her, he delivered her of seven living
children, each as large as any European when new born, without her sublime Highness
having a single pain, by a method peculiar to himself; also, from happy experience, in-
fallibly cures a diabetes, although of many years continuance.
He has also brought over the method of bandaging, by which the Chinese ladies con-
fine their feet to that beautiful-smallness, has to be soarcely equal to the size of the great
toe-nail of an English woman.
The Doctor begs leave to mention his most sovereign Balsamum anti-mortale
pseuda-medicale, extracted from the breath of the Egyptian mummies. This balsam is
of Arabian fragrance, and kept in Pandora's box, which, on being, opened, and held
to the evil, cancer, fistula, schirrous swellings, or cutaneous affections, does imme-
diately (with the Doctor's elocution, and the effluvia of a butter market) occasion such a
cloud of morbid vapours to arise from the diseased parts as dims the fight of the won-
dering spectators; but how much the greater is their surprise, to see, in a week or ten
days time, these deluded Lazari compliment the Doctor, and apologise for their credu-
lity, by avowedly declaring their complaints near well, themselves Dupes, and the
Doctor no Fool.
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Probable period of publication:
1810-1830 shelfmark: L.C.1268
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