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Broadside poem entitled 'A Scots Answer to a British Vision'


A Scots Answer to a British Vision

Quantum est Divisibile in ea quĉ insunt, quorum utrumque vel unumquodque Unum
quod & boc aliquod aptum est esse.   Arist. De Qyantitate.

Two British Wits Conspir'd,
A Scotish Dream to Answer,
Both equally Inspir'd
With Nonsence, Punns and Banter ;
Sense smil'd to see                  

Them so agree                     

In Bluntness and Stupiditie.   

Their Plot was so well laid,
That Rhime flow'd from the North;
And what the Southern said

Was Cant and Noisie Froth-         

No Man Alive                        

Could so Contrive                  

This Bum-bee-Hive.               

When your Squadrons do brake,

Is it thus that they Rallie?

Must a Bard and a Snake

Be the first makes a Sallie ?

Can a Virgin regain                  

What she's lost of her Fame,

By so Foppish a Train ?   

Where Similies bite

Thick Sculls do not know

A Cat from a Kite,                  

Their Pulse beats so low.

It is then no Wonder               

That their pitiful Blunder      
Pass for Lightning and Thunder.

By this the World may see
Whence the Maggot does bite,
Since'a Rake and a Cullie,
A Doctor and a Bullie
Must touch a Court's Fee,
And do their worst to Unite,

Thus Thames and Tine,             }

Without Reason or Rhime.,       }
Do most fondly Combiner

When Reasoning'sanswer'd

By Seconded Votes,
And Speeches are Banter'd .

By Outfield Turn-Coats,
Then Sirenge and Condum   

Come both in Request,
While Virtuous Quondam

Is Treated in Jest.

When Highlands and London,

Agree to make Druids,
Then our union is half done,

It wants but some Fluids,
By a full Draught of Goat-whay

And a Wench by the middle,
You may fall on a Way

To Decipher my Riddle.

Thus I've Rumag'd the Hulk,

To find out some Good Ware,
But nothing of Bulk

Appears to be there:
Since its so then be gone,

Consult your Enstruther,
And let Squadrons go on

To Murder their Mother.

To Answer them all
Would Torture the Devil,

But I have at a Call   

What will Conjure you Civil ;

For what Remains,            ( Brains.

   Wants Words, Rhime, Sense and
   Adieu Messieur's

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Probable date published: 1706   shelfmark: S.302.b.2(129)
Broadside poem entitled 'A Scots Answer to a British Vision'
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