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Broaside ballad entitled 'The Burntisland Catechisme'
Ques. WHy must our Councellors be fools ?
Ans.'Cause then they're sittest to be tools .
Q. And what supplies their want of sense ?
A. Their want of bread and Conscience.
Q. Why is it fitt they shou'd be poor ?
A. 'Cause then a Bribe prevails the more.
Q. And why is Conscience laid aside ?
A. Least it officiously upbraid.
Q. Yet dont they still pretend to have it ?
A. Yes but in vain , for none belive it.
Q. Why fancy they their Smith is wife ?
A. Because they know not what he says .
Q. How palliats he his Ignorance ?
A. With bold insulting arrogance.
Q. What qualifies him for his trust ?
A. An extraordinary thrist.
Q. How is't that thrist do'th make him fit ?
A. It makes him drinke with appetite .
Q. Do'th drinking then advance their cause ?
A. More than a thousand useless Laws.
Q. Why are the Laws by them despis'd ?
A. 'Cause Troop their Lawier so advis'd.
Q. How do'th our learned Clerk behave ?
A. Like a religious Crasty knave .
Q. What makes his speech a mistery ?
A. Bombast, Pedantick sophistry.
Q. What service hath he done the Town ?
A. He's made its Credite like his own.
Q. Why is our Priest a politician ?
A. 'Cause he came here on that Condition.
Q. Who sent him here, and to what end?
A. Rothes, his stubborn foes to bend.
Q. How Combates he his Lordships foes ?
A. With wrested texts, instead of blows.
Q. How do'th he discipline his friends ?
A. He teaches them to serve his ends.
Q. Hath he for that a Gospel licence ?
A. No, but he says he's one from Conscience.
Q. What's his reward, for all this toil ?
A. His stipend, and my Lord's good will.
Q. How gratifies my Lord, the reft ?
A. With a sew Guineas and a feast.
Q. How do'th he warm their Cooling zeal ?
A. With sowr wine, punch and bottled ale.
Q. Why do'th his Lordship court them so ?
A. For's use, as men their misses do.
Q. What must they then at last expect ?
A. Their nighbour's scorn, and Lords neglect.
Probable date of publication:
1720- shelfmark: RB.I.106(109)