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Broaside ballad entitled 'The Burntisland Catechisme'





Ques. WHy must our Councellors be fools ?

Ans.'Cause then they're sittest to be tools .

Q.    And what supplies their want of sense ?

A.    Their want of bread and Conscience.

Q.    Why is it fitt they shou'd be poor ?

A.    'Cause then a Bribe prevails the more.

Q.    And why is Conscience laid aside ?

A.    Least it officiously upbraid.

Q.    Yet dont they still pretend to have it ?

A.    Yes but in vain , for none belive it.

Q.    Why fancy they their Smith is wife ?

A.    Because they know not what he says .

Q.    How palliats he his Ignorance ?

A.    With bold insulting arrogance.

Q.    What qualifies him for his trust ?

A.    An extraordinary thrist.

Q.    How is't that thrist do'th make him fit ?

A.    It makes him drinke with appetite .

Q.    Do'th drinking then advance their cause ?

A.    More than a thousand useless Laws.

Q.    Why are the Laws by them despis'd ?

A.    'Cause Troop their Lawier so advis'd.

Q.    How do'th our learned Clerk behave ?

A.    Like a religious Crasty knave .

Q.    What makes his speech a mistery ?

A.    Bombast, Pedantick sophistry.

Q.    What service hath he done the Town ?

A.    He's made its Credite like his own.

Q.    Why is our Priest a politician ?

A.    'Cause he came here on that Condition.

Q.    Who sent him here, and to what end?

A.    Rothes, his stubborn foes to bend.

Q.    How Combates he his Lordships foes ?

A.    With wrested texts, instead of blows.

Q.    How do'th he discipline his friends ?

A.    He teaches them to serve his ends.

Q.    Hath he for that a Gospel licence ?

A.    No, but he says he's one from Conscience.

Q.    What's his reward, for all this toil ?

A.    His stipend, and my Lord's good will.

Q.    How gratifies my Lord, the reft ?

A.    With a sew Guineas and a feast.

Q.    How do'th he warm their Cooling zeal ?

A.    With sowr wine, punch and bottled ale.

Q.    Why do'th his Lordship court them so ?

A.    For's use, as men their misses do.

Q.    What must they then at last expect ?

A.    Their nighbour's scorn, and Lords neglect.

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Probable date of publication: 1720-   shelfmark: RB.I.106(109)
Broaside ballad entitled 'The Burntisland Catechisme'
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