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Broadside entitled: 'New Invented Act of Parliament, for the Benefit of Young Men, Old Men, Maids, Wives, Widows, Old Maids, Bachelors, &c.'

Transcription

NEW INVENTED

Act of Parliament,

FOR THE BENEFIT OF

YOUNG MEN, OLD MEN, MAIDS,

WIVES, WIDOWS,

OLD MAIDS, BACHELORS, &c,

At a Meeting of several Ladies and Gentlemen of this
Town, held for the better Management and conduct-
ing Order and Regularity in Society, Mr STEADY in
the Chair, the following Resolutions were passed;-

RESOLVED, 1st.-That no lady shall wear a bonnet
more than one yard ronnd ; and no more than two to be
allowed to walk arm in arm together, so that they may
not obstruct tae way, (to prevent persons being turned
off the pavement by the said bonnets) under the penaly
of five pounds.

2-That any lady not paying the above penalty when
called upon, or should any gentleman be blown into the
gutter by the wind of her bonnet, she shall be sent to
the tread-mill for three months, and to fan the mill
round with bonnets.

3.-That no ware-house clerk, counter hopper, chim-
ney sweep, journeyman, apprentice, or dandy, shall
shall smoke a cigar in the street before six o'clock in the
morning, or after ten in the evening : for every such of-
fence, to grind logwood on the tread-mill for three months.

4-That every working man shall 'be at liberty to
smoke on his way home, after work in the evening, pro-
viding he puffs no one's eyes out.

5.-That no old maid wife, or widow woman, shall
take more than a pound of snuff in one week, and not
to take more than one pinch during hours of cooking, for
fear of dropping it from their nose into the gravey, under
the penalty of not having another pinch for one month.

6.-That any man shall be at liberty to beat his wife,
provided she deserves it, with any weapon not smaller
than a broom-stick, not softer than a kitchen poker, pro-
vided he does not commit murder, but break as many
bones as he pleases. Any woman not likeing this treat-
ment, shal be at liberty to leave her husband, by articles
of agreement, drawn up and signed in the presence of the
next door neighbour, she taking the children and goods;
and further, that she also take with her two black eyes,
if her husband thinks her deserving of the same.

7.-That any washer-woman, or any woman going out
to daily work, shall keep one-half of her earnings, and
the other half shall be given to her lord and master, for
drinking money.

8-That any man coming home drung, shall be care-
fully put to bed by his wife, she being at liberty to pick
his pocket, and have a gill of whisky for her trouble.

9 That a man and his wife must not get drunk at one
time, for fear of fire, as two drunken people in one house
is contrary to the act.

l0.-That every bachelor, at the age of forty, be com-
pelled to keep two wives, to make up for lost time: In
neglecting so to do, he shall pay a fine of five pounds,
to the poorest couple in the parish.

11 .-That no old maid be permitted to keep more than
one dozen of lap-dogs, cats, or parrots, to the annoyance
of the neighbourhood, but to use every lawful means in
her power to procure a husband; but if she can prove to
the satisfaction of the Court, that she has already done
so without success, then the Court shall be bound to
provide her a sleeping partner during the cold nights of
winter.

12.-That no married woman shall lie snoring lu her
bed after seven o'clock in the morning, with the fire ont,
and the breakfast not ready, under the penalty of being
tied to her bed for a fortnight.

13-Any man marrying a woman, and not being able
to accomplish the duties of matrimony, the wife shall be
empowered to employ a journeyman; the husband pre-
suming to grumble, shall be dipped three times a-day in
a horse pond, till his wife prove in the family way.

SANDERSON, Printer. High Street Edinburgh.

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Probable period of publication: 1830-1839   shelfmark: L.C.Fol.74(127)
Broadside entitled: 'New Invented Act of Parliament, for the Benefit of Young Men, Old Men, Maids, Wives, Widows, Old Maids, Bachelors, &c.'
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