Quo' Nell, my wife, the ither day,
Provisions they are cheap man;
And for the trifle it wud tak',
A sow we weel micht keep, man ;
Indeed, says I, my dearest Nell,
I've just been thinking sae mysel',
And since we've on the notion fell,
I'll just gang doon to Mattie Broon,
This afternoon, and vera soon
Bring hame yin in a rape, man.
Sae in my poutch I put the rape,
And doon to Mattie's went, man,
Resolved to ha'e a guid yin wault,
Reflections to prevent, man.
As soon's I entered Mattie's door,
She blythely met me at the floor,
And kindly questions speert a soore,
About mysel', the bairns and Nell,
Nor can I tell what cracks befel,
Ere my errant it was kent, man.
SPOKEN.?For ye maun ken, Mattie and me
was auld sweethearts; na, we wur yince neer
about marriet, had it no been for a confoundet
auld mither o' hers that put atween us, for I
gaed under the nefarious name o' a rake in thae
days ; a name that operated like a dose o' salts
on a auld wife's stammack.
But when auld stories a' were telt,
And ablins something new, man,
1 faun 'twas time that I should mak'
Some mention o' the sow, man.
When I my errant did unfauld,
I faun the young anes a' were sauld,
But gin I liked to tak' the auld,
Wi' a' her heart she'd send her cart,
She weel could spare't, I thanked her for't;
But out the rape I drew, man.
SPOKEN.?Na, na, says I, Mattie, far be it frae
Tam Gibb to put his auld sweetheart to sae
muckle trouble; here's a bit new rape I hae'
brought, an' nae doubt the beast will gang the
road braw and cannie.
Sae roond dame grumphy's hindmost leg
The rape I soon did tie, man,
And wi' a supple birken twig,
I drove her out o' the stye, man.
Wi' Mattie straught I bade gud e'en,
And briskly to the road we tane ;
But scarcely fifty yards we'd gane,
When Madam sow impatient grew,
And soon I trow, made me to rue,
That her I chanced to buy, man.
For being o' the female breed,
She proved a stubborn jade, man,
Were I to flea the brute alive,
She'd aye hae her ain road, man.
I wanted east, but she'd be wast,
Or ony way she liked best,
And did my brains sae fairly pest,
Till in my raith, wi' mony an aith,
I vowed her skaith, and kicked her baith,
And gart her squeak aloud.
SPOKEN.?Od, she was the most positive wretch
o' a sow that ever was born, she would neither
gang her ain road, nor the way I wanted her ;
through poud and ditch she spauked, me haudin'
on like grim death, for I was maist grown as
determin'd as horsel', and I daresay I would ha'
managed her, had it no been for a confounded
muckle stane that tripp'd me?-and doon I gaed
a' my length in the glaur, snap gaed the rape,
awa' ran the sow, and I can tell you I never saw
a sicht o't.
But thou pig's flesh it never mair
Should be my lot to pree, man,
I vow and swear anither sow
Will ne'er be bought by me, man,
As langs there's herrin' in Lochfine,
I'll ne'er want kitchen when I dine,
And henceforth bid adieu to swine;
O' nae sic gear the price I'll speer,
Nor' stan the sneer and taunting jeer,
That I frae neebours dree, man.
SPOKEN.?Faith I'm no fit to stan't; and the
callans is the warst; od, ye'll see them as a body
gangs alang the street, jinking into a close, and
keeking out, and crying Hey Tam! hey Tam
Gibb ! Tam! whaur's yer sow ?
Its ill to bear the taunting jeer,
That I frae neebours dree man.
View Commentary | Download PDF Facsimile
Probable period of publication:
1880-1900 shelfmark: L.C.Fol.70(51)
View larger image