Of all the wives that plague men's lives,
And keeps them from their rest,
A gossiping wife, or a passionate wife,
Pray which do you think the best ?
A passionate wife give me for life,
For she's never given to roam;
Although she scolds, I would not mind that,
She takes care of her house at home.
A gossiping wife goes gadding about,
She's ever giving to roam,
Every one's business is minded abroad,
But she never does mind her own.
A passionate wife is like a shower of rain,
The faster it falls the sooner its done,
A gossiping wife is never at ease,
She has got an infernal tongue .
A scolding wife, if her passion is over,
Cannot eat, drink, or sup,
Until the good man shakes hands,
Kisses, and makes it all up.
A gosssiping wife I have got for my lot,
O, such a torment to me ;
She's never at home to eat or drink,
But at breakfast, dinner, or tea ;
And when it is over, and my back turned away,
Out of the house goes she,
To some neighbour's door, with a dozen more,
With children on their knees.
In comes one with a tongue a yard long,
Pray what do you think I heard,
Your husband was seen last night, indeed,
Its true, upon my word.
You know I always speak the truth,
Whenever we chance to meet,
The neighbours all know full well
She's the biggest gossip in the street.
When they are met, a dozen or set,
And one of them chance to pronounce,
Its out of twelve, your are sure to hear six
With their tongues all going at once.
Click clack goes all their tongues,
Such a din and damnable rout,
And when they are done, there is scarcely one
That knows what they've been talking about.
Now, if any young fellow could only invent,
Such a thing as a secret spring,
To stop gossiping wives tongues,
I would soon be as rich as a king,
To get one for my lot,
I would sell waistcoat, breeches, and jacket,
I am sure before a month was over,
That I would have money in pocket.
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Probable date of publication:
1852-1859 shelfmark: L.C.Fol.178.A.2(025)
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