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Broadside ballad entitled 'The Teetotal Mill'



Teetotal Mill.

Two jolly old Topers once sat at an inn,
Discussing the merits of Brandy and Gin ;
Said one to the other. I'll tell you what Bill,
I've been hearing to-day, of the Teetotal Mill,

You must know that this comical mill has been built,
Of old broken casks, when the liquor's been spilt;
You go up some steps, and when at the door still,
You've a paper to sign at the Teetotal Mill,

You promise by signing this paper I think,
That ale, wine, and spirits, you never will drink ;
You'll give up, as they call it, such rascally swill,
And then you go into the Teetotal Mill.

There's a wheel in the mill they call self-denial,
They turn it a bit, just to give you a trial ;
Old clothes are made new ones and if you've been ill,
You're very soon cured in the Teetotal Mill.

Bill listened and wondered, at length he cried out,?
Why Tom, if its true what your telling about;
What fools we must he, to bo here sitting still,
Let us go and look in at the Teetotal Mill.

They gazed with astonishment,?there came a man,
With disease and excesses his visage was wan ;
He mounted the steps--signed the pledge with good will
And went for a turn on the Teetotal Mill.   

He quickly came out the picture of health,
And walked briskly on in the highway of wealth ;
And as onward he pressed, ho shouted out still,
Success to the wheel in the Teetotal Mill.

The next that went in Was a man and his wife,
For many long years they'd boon living in strife ;
He had beat and abused and swore he would kill,
But his heart took a turn in the Teetetal Mill.

And when he came out, oh ! how altered was ho,
His conduct was changed, and how happy was she !
They no more contended, ''no, you shan't! "yes I will I'
But they are blessing together the Teetotal Mill,

There next came a fellow as grim as a Turk,
To curse and swear seemed his principal work ;
He swore that that morning his skin he would fill,
And drunk as he was, he recled into the mill,

And what he saw there, sure I never could tell.
But his conduct was changed and his language as well;
I saw when he turned round the brow of the hill,
That he knelt and thanked God for the Teetotal Mill.

The poor was made rich, the weak were made strong,
The shot was made short, and the purse was made long ;
These miracles puzzled both Thomas and Bill,
At length they went in for a turn at the mill.

A little time after I heard a great shout,
I turned round to see what the noise was about;
And a crowd, amongst which were both Thomas and Bill.
Who were shouting, "hurrah ! for the Teetotal Mill!"

Printed by R. M'Intosh, 96 King St. Calton.

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Probable date published: 1849   shelfmark: L.C.Fol.178.A.2(016)
Broadside ballad entitled 'The Teetotal Mill'
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